Friday, March 13, 2009

Conversations with my minors

Avery had a scratch on his chest. He sees it in the mirror and comes out of the bathroom sulking:
"Avery's broken."
Oh, no! What happened?
"I got a scratch. Avery's broken. You need to get a new Avery."
Where do we get a new Avery?
"At the store."
What do we do with the old Avery?
"I dunno. Feed him to the monsters."

Quincy (my 19 month old, by the way) took off her diaper and began running around the house yelling, "I'm naked! I'm naked!" Avery stripped and joined her. I let the naked party roll for a few minutes when all of the sudden I hear Quincy call for me. And what do I see in her room? A big turd. Nice Quincy. So I say, "Oh, no! Quincy, this doesn't make me happy. You pooped!" She replies, "Daddy did it."
"Oh, really? Daddy did it?"
"Yeah."
"Daddy didn't do it."
"Oh, Lacie did it."
"Lacie pooped on the floor?"
"Yeah."
"Quincy, Lacie didn't poop on the floor."
"Dave did it."
"Dave pooped on the floor?"
"Yeah. Dave pooped on the floor."
"Quincy, I think you pooped on the floor."
"Dave did it. Dave did it. Dave did it."
"Quincy pooped on the floor."
"Lacie did it. Avery did it. Dave did it."
I even called Lacie and put her on speaker and Quincy continued to sell her out. I guess I should have a talk with Dave, Lacie, Michael, and Avery and ask them to PLEASE not poop on my floor.
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About Me

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Logan, UT
So I used to think... I used to think it was my world. Maybe Michael thought it was his. But we have been re-educated. By a 4 year old and a 2 year old. It's their world. We live in it.

Schaefer's Crazy World

A peek into our window

Birth of Child #1

Birth of Child #1
He looked like a blue alien. Luckily it didn't stick. And thank goodness we didn't go with Michael's idea to name him based on what he looked like.

Birth of Child #2

Birth of Child #2
Much less eventful, thank goodness! She was born with red hair and 2 teeth... and skin colored skin!

Quincalicious!

  • Quincy says "Where's Avy? I dunno." She talks sooo much and she's so small (5th percentile) that is seems like she shouldn't be talking at all.
  • She roams wildly during church and has become quite the scavenger approaching anyone with food. Its embarrasingly adorable!
  • Quincy's vocab has exploded to include the words, "please, thank you, outside, sucker, candy, Avery, Grandpa, slide, ride, hold you, ni-night, water, bird, doggie, airplane, etc.....! She seems so little!
  • One of the most "wow" things she has done is climb one of those HUGE blow-up slides and slide down REPEATEDLY, ALL BY HERSELF!!!
  • Quincy (with great effort) threw the upper couch cushions on the floor and then proceeded to dive off couch, climb back up, repeat.
  • She says"I want: cookie, go, this, that, drink, wa-wa, play." She also says no, baby, hello, bye-bye, and peek-a-boo. And of course she says "Mom and Da."
  • Quincy talks a lot now. But first thing in the day and then 100 more times: "I want coo-kie." Very telling about her love affair with food.

AVERYISMS

  • A day after being educated, Avery pulled down his pants and touched his boyhood saying, "Hey Grandma, these are my private parts." HA-larious!
  • (After using the bathroom) "I made a waterfall. Then I made it stop."
  • "Hey Dad. This is my [invisible] friend Caillou. Will you be a monster and scare us?"
  • "Grandpa, what's in your belly?" says Avery. Mom says, "What do you think is in there?" "A baby?" guesses Avery. "Nope. Just lots of cherries," says Grandpa Schaefer. HAH!
  • Quincy was crying in the middle of the night and Avery said, "Take a deep breath, Quincy." It was sweet.
  • Quincy was screaming like a pterodactyl for Avery's food, so he snapped "Chill Out Quincy!"
  • In Avery's first attempt at being a smart-a, he was playing with his friend Jaden Knight and we were asking the boys their full names. Avery responded that his name was Avery James Day. Might have had to be there.
  • Avery still tries to stick his hand down my shirt. When I won't let him, he occasionally asks if he can stick his foot down my shirt instead.
  • I told Avery that Heavenly Father lived in heaven. He thought I said he lived 'with Kevin', so in alarm he asked, "With Kevin and Melissa?!!!"
  • Avery was out cold and we had to go. It was odd how I couldn't wake him, so I threw him over my shoulder and started heading out. All of the sudden with startling gusto, he yelled "I see Jesus." I thought he was a visionary, but turns out he woke up just as I walked past a picture of Christ.