Ahhhhh!  Life!  What a crazy ride!
Remember when I used to blog?  Yeah, about that.  Life kinda sucked me in and chewed me up for a bit.  I mean, I am just doing the basics around here.  But I am recently starting to attend to some beyond-basic goals, and I have been challenged to do something for me... something that makes me, ME.  And once upon a time when there was a "me," I used to enjoy writing.  I don't know if this actually counts as the kind I used to enjoy, but it's a start.
Let's get this party started with a review of "Being Summer Schaefer, 2012".
One day in early March I feel shaky and weak.  Weird.  Another day in March I feel shaky and weak.  Weirder.  I call the hubs and while I'm chatting with him telling him my bodily state, I rummage through the bathroom cabinet and find a pregnancy test.  I pee on it.  I'm still talking to Michael (don't judge) and he asks if I need to see a doctor.  Right as he questions me, I see a distinct "positive" line show up on the pee-stick.  So I reply, "Yes.  I should probably see a doctor.  I'm pregnant."  He, of course, thought I was kidding because no where in our immediate agenda was pregnancy.  We thought we were doing a fine job at preventing actually.  After all, we had a 10 month old baby boy.  But the minute that line announced the surprise, we were filled with oodles of freaked out excitement.
So, I scheduled an OB appointment with the best doc ever, Dr. Horsley.  He ordered the standard blood-thinning shots I take in pregnancy due to my hereditary predisposition to clot.  I was still getting maternity insurance in order, so I waited a handful of days (maybe 5) to pick them up from the pharmacy.  But in those few days, I felt a strange (invisible) bruise in my upper inside calf.  The next day, it was still invisible, but larger.  I called the doc.  They said to watch it.  It got larger.  So I went in for a sonogram on it.  I had a blood clot.  A superficial one all the way up to my groin.  But superficial ones aren't dangerous.  However, the clot was very close to my deep vein system, so to be safe, they upped my shot dosage substantially.  I went in for another sonogram a few weeks later, and the clot had shrunk a ton.  So a visiting high risk OB ordered my dosage to be lowered again.  Dumb ass.  After about a week on the lower dose, I felt the bruise grow again, this time all the way above my groin area.  So I went in for another sonogram and sure enough I now had a Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT), the dangerous kind.  The ultrasound tech called Dr. H to report the findings, but she couldn't get a hold of him.  She said I wasn't allowed to leave the premises, so she made me promise to go sit in his office until he was available.  When he finally came to see me, I thought he would simply re-up my meds.  Nope.  He just walked in and said, "We're going to wheel you upstairs to a hospital room for a few days."  I of course respond with, "WHAT???  You're admitting me??? I feel fine!  I can walk!  What the????"  But apparently immediate death was a viable possibility for the next few days, so I was wheeled off and placed in a bed that I was not allowed to leave without nurse assistance.  Well, let me take you to the night before this clot was discovered.  I was stressed out and overwhelmed to the max and I PRAYED and PRAYED for a break.  And I sure got one!  I layed in that hospital bed cruising the internet, watching TV, ordering food, and effortlessly weaning my baby!  It was amazing!  A-MAZ-ING!
Fast forward through that pregnancy.  Tons of appointments due to the clot, but all went well and baby boy Schaefer grew just fine.
October comes, and baby #4 is due.  I have a scheduled c-section for a few reasons.  Most important to me was so that I wouldn't ruin my bladder sling in the delivery.  Remember that I pee-ed my pants horribly for the past six years due to birth trauma with my first.  I was not about to give up my new continent life for a measly delivery!  Second, Dr. Horsley (a stake president who I trust completely) STRONGLY encouraged me to tie my tubes.  He'd prefer I didn't have more babies and die.  Okay.  C-section with a tubal ligation it is then!  Mom comes into town to help out for a couple weeks.
October 15th (18 months to the day after Eli's arrival) and our SWEET, PERFECT Christian Michael Schaefer was born.  All seemed to go well with the delivery, except for the fact that I did not like the drugs they gave me.  And I'm usually a fan of drugs.  Huh.  Whatever.  I was released from the hospital later that week.  But, I got home and the following day, noticed a spot of blood on my undies right where the c-sec incision was.  I looked and saw about a 2 inch tear.  Not good.  A few minutes after that discovery, I twisted wrong, and felt a RIP.  Uh, very not good.  As far as we knew, the tear was small, but my Mom and I headed to the ER.  By the time I was seen, my incision had torn all the way across.  HOLY BLOODY MESS!!!  Sickity-sickerson!  I guess my skin wouldn't seal shut because of the thinners I was on.  They stitched me up and boy, was I relieved.
I saw Doc H the following Monday regarding the incident.  And... he was NOT HAPPY that they restitched me!  He basically said it was now a hot-mess of a situation and he didn't know how to handle it, so he sent me to the Wound Clinic.  Basically I was now ripe for infection.  Dr. WoundClinicGuy didn't know what to do either because to reverse the stitches, I would need a surgery, and surgeries aren't good for clotters on thinners.  So he sent me to a surgeon.  The surgeon seemed much more confident (thank goodness) and scheduled a surgery to clean out extra blood clots and NOT RE-STITCH me!  That's right.  It had to heal from the inside out.  I was to pack it with gauze daily for a couple months.  When I say "I" was to pack it, I mean anybody but me got to do the honors.
The surgery went well.  I actually enjoy minor surgery.  DRUGS!!!!  Mmmmmm.......!  As we realized that my birthing recovery had just been elongated, my sweet, heroic mom decided to postpone her trip home.  So she played Mom to all FOUR of my sweet and crazy kids while I slept the days away!  My body was hammered.  Now, you might feel sorry for me at this point, but DON'T!  When in your adult life as a mother can you be laid up in bed PEACEFULLY while someone else waits on you and your kids.  NEVER!  THANK YOU MOM!  I dare say, aside from the physical pain, it was almost enjoyable!
Turns out that my Aunt Coral got wind of the happenings.  She had years before had the same thing happen to her after a hysterectomy.  So she kindly came right on up and spent a week with us tending to my wound.  Thanks Aunt C!
And I have to say that Michael was SUCH A TROOPER packing my disgusting incision, although it did cause him to occasionally skip his dinner!
Since Mom's say was so elongated, Dad came up for Thanksgiving.   I may have been in a sad state, but truth be told, my wildest dream was about to come true!  You see, Black Friday is my VERY favorite day of the year!  I LOVE IT!  I love it so much that I never miss, even on years I have to brave the cold and crowds by myself.  So when I realized that by some amazing grace, both my parents would be here for that eventful day, I somehow conned them into going BF shopping with me!  Michael agreed to stay home with all the kiddos (including our new baby) all night and let us sleep the next day!  What a guy, right?!!!  I may have been a bit of a cripple, but I sure felt great that night!  Dad made it about half way through, and Mom made it from 7pm to 10am!  FUNNEST NIGHT EVER EVER EVER!
Well, I was beginning to get around better, so my mom was scheduled to leave the Wednesday after Thanksgiving with my dad.  I guess it was about time for her to leave me to my own devices.  Boo!  HOWEVER (are you shocked), we were sitting at church on the Sunday before her departure and she pointed to her legs.  One leg happened to be swollen while the other did not.  Uh, that's not good.  I'm very familiar with blood clots at this point, so I'm concerned at this tell-tale sign.  She's not too concerned however b/c she's had a clot before and this one feels different.  In fact, it hardly felt like anything at all to her.  But I strong-armed her and promptly accompanied her to the ER after church.  Incidentally, we had blessed Christian that morning and Shane and his family were visiting for the day from their Thanksgiving spent with Amy's sister.  I felt bad having to take Mom away from them, but I felt strongly about the situation.  So...YOU GUESSED IT!  Mom had a DVT!  You know, the possible insta-killer.  So she was hospitalized and instructed not to travel for a time.  Looks like she'd be sticking around longer.  I have to say that assuming she would be fine, I was quite pleased that I wouldn't have to give her up yet, but in all fairness, I did feel guilty that now she was STUCK at my house and would not be able to go to Arizona over Christmas as planned to see my brothers.  As luck would have it, Dad returned to Florida without her and Mom continued her crazy long stay.
Turns out that was a good thing.  Right about the time I started being more mobile, I did something to my right foot.  I have no idea what was wrong, but it was very painful to walk on it.  I saw the doc and he thought I may have a hairline fracture, so he gave me a boot.  The next morning I was getting out of bed to change the baby at about 6am and I stepped on that blasted boot.  I stepped on it with my good foot, but I uttered a naughty word or two and went on my way.  That is until Michael heard some commotion and came to see what was going on.  He pointed out the blood on the floor, so I sat to look at my foot.  I had sliced a toe of mine DEEP.  So, my sweet mom and I headed again to the ER.  Holy crap.  Stitches.  AND...another boot!  You can't make this stuff up!  I was quite a sight for sore eyes.  Of course those stitches came out within the day making me wear that boot about a week longer.  Cool.
During my boot sentence, I woke up one morning with the most bizarre pain behind my ear.  Yeah, it felt like a monster bruise, as if I had whopped my head with a hammer!  So I sheepishly went to see Doc Stevens and told him I had an invisible bruise that I had no recollection of getting.  Turns out I
had mastoiditis.  Well, what's mastoiditis?  Oh, no big deal.  Its just an infection in the bone behind your  ear that is incredibly hard to clear and was the number one killer of children before antibiotics.  He promptly had his nurse give me a mother of a shot in the buttocks and sent me away with mega-antibiotics.  He warned me to be diligent with the meds or this infection would surely lead to a bone scraping surgery.  Wow.  Serious???
Don't worry!  The drama is almost over.  Almost.  So, my good friend Crazy Mary was visiting Utah from Cali and organized a reunion with our good friends from our years in Hawaii.  This was the Sunday before New Years.  We made the 2 hour plus drive down to our friend's house for said reunion and pot-luck.  On the way down, my upper stomach was cramping quite a bit.  We stopped on the drive and I hurled a bit.  I felt better after though and we continued.  What a fun reunion!  They are never long enough.  So we began the journey back home and arrived close to midnight without incident.  My mom and dad (he was back for Christmas since my mom was still out) were waiting for us since they had watched the baby to save him from the long drive.  But within a few minutes after arriving home, the stomach cramps resumed, this time with much more furor.  HOLY CRAP!  The pain was so intense I had to breathe through it.  SHOCKER.  Off to the ER again.  Dad took me this time.  Gallstones.  Freaking gallstones.  Really???  I've never had an issue with gallstones.  Apparently pregnancy is a naughty little catalyst for such an event.  The doc told me I would have to have my gallbladder removed since stones don't go away and most likely I would now continue to have attacks.  Unbelievable!!!  But now early morning Dec. 31 and incidentally my last day of insurance.  Wowza.  I mentioned that to the ER doc and he ever-so-kindly said that was not his problem.  He did however agree to call a surgeon and see if I could be fit in for later that day.   The surgeon said he had no prob fitting me in for a surgery that afternoon.  So I was admitted and drugged.  Sweeeeeeeet!  I do like drugs.  Have I mentioned that?  More drugs and a surgery followed by more drugs.  Mmmmmm..... .  So that worked out.  Cool.  I dragged my drugged butt out of the hospital at 10pm that night so I would be sure not be there at midnight when I no longer had hospital coverage.  I was so very tired, and I layed on my dad's shoulder on the drive home.  I am absolutely convinced that the timing there was divine intervention.  
I got home and my mom had just used up my last bit of pumped milk to feed the baby.  She was very tired as she had stayed up with the baby the night before.  So I sent her to bed.  Soon enough, Christian was hungry, but I was not allowed to nurse him due to the drugs (mmmmmm....) in my system, so I started preparing his first bottle of formula.  Boy was I tired as I fed him that bottle.  Yet I noticed as he drank that he started getting red around his lips.  Then down his chin.  Then splotchy all over his face.  Then his ears started swelling.  Pretty soon his whole tiny body was covered in hives and he was getting very lethargic.  He began to cough and vomit.  I freaked out.  So I googled like any good little mom would do.  I then proceeded to freak out more and rushed to the very hospital I had just checked out from.  My tired mom came with me to visit the nice desk receptionist who had checked me in the night before and waved good-bye just a couple hours earlier.  Poor Christian was given antihistamines and steroids through an IV and watched until he cleared up around 4am!  Talk about scary, exhausting, and ridiculous!  So no more normal formula for that little guy!  Sheesh!
K, seriously, all this drama is just about over, I promise.  Just one little side note of a hitch.  My parents took us out to a big meal at TX Roadhouse the Saturday before they were going to leave (for real this time).  We ate like kings...or pigs.  Apparently that was not a bright idea with a freshly removed gall bladder!  The next day, I was getting ready for church and pushing through some serious nausea.  Until I started puking and quit pushing.  And I continued to "empty" that stomach for the next three days in the most painful and horrific manner I have ever experienced.  On the bright side, I lost 14 lbs.  So as not to make people jealous, I made sure to gain about half back upon recovery.  But I have to say that the DVT, delivery, wound rip, wound rip surgery, foot issues, and gallbladder removal were so very much more enjoyable that the raging insides I pansied through for those 3 days.  JUST AWFUL!
You know what I believe?  I believe God is in charge.  I believe he tries us to help us grow.  I also believe he doesn't give us more than we can handle.  All the health garbage actually wasn't too bad because my Mom was there the whole time and I had a great deal of help from church, friends, Dad, Coral, and of course Michael.  And I believe God packed those trials in for me because it was a time I really could handle them given my mom's stay and the fabulous insurance.  Now I believe life will slow down and I'll be healthy as a horse until God deems its time for more stretching in that way.  And if he sees fit to try me like that again, He again will provide ways for me to get through it all.
I will try to write more later about the other happenings in the Schaefer household, because of course there is more going on in this family than just my piece of crazy.  Someday.  Maybe sooner than later.

Toot-Toot! Meet the New Summer Schaefer

This post is dedicated to those who knew me in my former life. I'm talking about those who knew the me that balked at everything house-wife-ish. And those who knew me to forget the lemon in a lemon meringue pie and literally explode a pan of brownies. Literally. I'm talking about my parents who got a phone call as I went from Florida to BYU as an 18 year old saying, "I can't be here! I don't fit in with all these MORMON girls who cook and bake and sing and play piano!" And I'm talking about friends who listened to me mentally gag at the idea of nursing, but it didn't matter, because I was sure I wouldn't be getting married anyway. That is who I dedicate this post to because, boy oh boy, THINGS HAVE CHANGED!

I, of course, did get married. And now I have three wonderfully fantastic and crazy kids. In a side note, I am now very pro-nursing and even nursed my oldest until he was 3 months shy of 3 years old!

I just feel the compulsion to list some of the changes that I, Summer Schafer, have made in the last few years (hard as they are to believe).

Changes:

-First I began to enjoy cooking. AND I wasn't so bad at it. Shocking.

-Next I learned to do Foot Renewal. I went to a school to learn the art of rubbing the feet in very specific ways to spark the signals of the body for healing. Its pretty amazing. I don't do it enough, really. But I can!

-I switched full board to brown rice. Even those picky kids of mine.

-I learned to use essential oils for health benefits. Some of my favorites are Lavender oil for calming (etc...) and DoTerra's Breathe for asthma and congestion.

-I often clean with a vinegar, water, and essesntial oil mixture.

-We did a garden last year and I kinda sorta liked it. I also used to mock these people. We were too busy to garden this summer though :(

-For my family, I started GRINDING wheat AND making homemade wheat bread! WHAT??? I used to mock those people!

-Now I am learning that I need to soak wheat and other grains and legumes before cooking them for my family. This removes dangerous and nutrient blocking phytic acids (and more).

-For myself, I make a homemade sour dough wheat bread. I'm the only one who will eat it, but it's worlds ahead on the nutrition scale.

-I grow Kefir from Kefir grains and use it in smoothies, dressings, and for other milk substitutes.

-I make (almost) green smoothies. I say 'almost' b/c I haven't yet acquired the taste for veggie dominant smoothies.

-I switched to a natural soap made with veggie oil. We use Real Salt. We use actual butter (I've even made some). I occasionally put down the Pam and use liquid lecithin mixed with olive oil. I only use EVOO and coconut oil when I cook. I grind flax seed.

-I rarely use the microwave. When I do, I make sure to cook on glass or ceramic.

-I made homemade (baby) brown rice cereal and oat cereal.

-We don't have cable. We cut it mainly for financial reasons, but with other entertainment options available, we probably won't go back. Instant Netflix is easier to monitor what our kids watch and we're not subject to all those commercials. Plus, I get addicted to TV series pretty insanely fast.

-I got off my anti-anxiety medicine and have been successful off thanks to oils and nutrition. But I will concede that if I need to be on meds, then I need to be on meds, and I would in that case go back on.

-I fought Quincy's eczema with either vinegar or bleach in her bathwater and lotion mixed with essential oils. None of that steroid crap.

-I'm finally starting to lose weight after an incredibly discouraging FOUR YEAR FAIL! I tried and I tried and I tried. For me (and I do think its somewhat unique to me) I have to eat the RIGHT foods (read: whole foods) rather than cut calories to shed pounds. True story.

Now I need to list the things I WANT to do:

-I want to switch to a aluminum-free antiperspirant/deodorant. I tried. Tom's. The crystal rock thing. I STANK. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

-I want to exercise REGULARLY. This could/should soon be a reality b/c I had my leaky bladder surgically fixed and just completed the "don't exert for 3 months" requirement. So I just purchased a trial gym membership.

-I want to make cultured veggies, like saur-kraut and pickles. The raw, no vinegar, fermented kind. I need to shell out cash for the proper equipment.

-I want my children to eat healthily, rather than eating a few healthy things as side-dishes to the crap. I have a game plan. The main prob here is I'm a softie. But I figure they get enough treats at places like school, so they don't need junk from me too. Wish me luck in the fight.

-I want to eat local and organic produce and animal products. I'll get on that.

-Going green. I'm just not there. I drive my car. I don't bring my own bags to the store. I use sandwich baggies. Things like that. Someday I'll be converted I suspect.

-I want to live on a large plot of land in a modest house in almost the middle of nowhere.

-Making cheese. Someday I will. Sooner than later I think.

And finally, a list of things I can't seem to wrap my head around:

-Home School. I wish I could... I think. But pretty sure I'd suck at it. And I do see some definite benefits to public schooling. But it kinda feels like throwing my kids to the wolves. Oh well.

-Sewing. Probably a useful thing. Or I could just keep my sewing friends who love me. Yeah, I'll do that.

-Crafting. Occasionally I try against my soul-deep better judgment. And I repeatedly fail. Blech!

-Cooking only with ceramic, glass, or stainless steel. I should, I know! But I love my non-stick pans.

-Herbal Remedies. YUCKY-YUCK-YUCK! Oils do the same thing, right?

-Cloth diapers. Can't. Get. Over. The. Gross. Sorry.

-Running a self-sustaining little farm. Amazing. But I'm pretty sure I'm too lazy for that.

-Reading consistently. A good thing, I hear. But, who's got the time?

Over the years, I have learned this about myself. Never say never. Maybe someday I'll be a marathon runner or something crazy like that. Maybe I'll sell homemade blankets or bows or jewelry. Maybe I'll be a vegan. Or maybe I'll SING AND PLAY PIANO! Who knows, because life brings you to crazy places when you're ready and not a minute before.

But, as it stands, I guess I'm a hippie of sorts. WHO EVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED???!!! I want to stay working at home as long as possible, just loving on that family of mine and nurturing their bodies and souls.

Note: While I have made a lot of changes in our home, I am not 100% at anything. Nothing. And I like it that way. Flexibility in the discipline.

Pregnancy Notes

Long time, no post.

I did have what I considered to be a good excuse for a recanting of my consistent blogging goal. I have a special condition in which I feel the need to disclose all, and if I wrote I just might have needed to announce my pregnancy early. So, I did not blog at all. That way, I avoided any slip of the keys.

So here we are, I'm 16 weeks pregnant, and things are going well. For the first few weeks, I was tired and quite nauseated. I started taking antacid medicine b/c acid was making my throat swell and inhibiting, you know, swallowing... and you know what? It all but cured my nausea too! Who knew? So now I'm just left with tired and I can handle that through the art of occasional laziness.

Since about 7 weeks, I have been injecting heparin shots in my belly 2x a day. I must admit that I somewhat enjoy the reaction that such a statement invokes. The shots are simply precautionary b/c I have an inherited tendency to form blood clots, although, so far, so good. The shots leave bruises all over my tummy that last forever... I'm talking, like, a year after the pregnancy is over. But really, they don't hurt much at all and I don't mind them. Really. Maybe it makes me feel slightly brave since I used to be PETRIFIED of needles.

On to more fun things. I have a couple dear friends (Sarah and Lacie) who convinced me to drive with them to the Sandy mall at 14 weeks for an elective gender ultrasound. What a great day! By some miracle, Michael was able to take off work, so Lacie, Sarah, Michael, and all our kids hit the road. I walked into that appointment with a VERY very VERY full bladder (partially loaded with OJ to wake the baby). Things worked out beautifully as we could see the little 'it' clearly as it kicked, flipped, and waved. Then 'it' showed us its royal boyhood and he will never be an 'it' again! Well, that little guy is quite the trickster b/c myself, my parents, and most of my friends were duped and swore a girl was on her way. Michael wore his blue shirt as he wholeheartedly rooted for the underdog. He even won 5 dozen cookies in a few friendly gender wagers. But the minute I saw his face (if you can call it that) in the sonogram, I had a feeling a boy was joining us and it just felt right. So although I can't picture a boy (since our only boy looks very little like he belongs to us) and we're stumped on names, we are very excited to welcome Baby Boy Schaefer in mid April. Although Quincy may still be hoping the doc was wrong. :)

We finished off the exciting day with an afternoon at Jungle Jim's for the kids and we LOVED IT. The kids rode the mini-amusement park rides again and again with no lines. Quincy (my 3 year old) rode one super fast spinning ride again and again BY HERSELF. In saying that, I mean THERE WAS NO ONE ELSE ON THE ENTIRE RIDE! Where in the world can a 3 year old demand that a ride be put into motion just for her???!! It was incredibly afforable and worth every penny. Unless you are a germ-a-phobe. At that point, it might NOT be worth every penny. But hey, we wash hands and sanitize, and it's all good-ish.

We will welcome the baby in mid-April. The doc said I'd need to deliver at 38-39 weeks due to my blood clotting thing. April 21 is my actual due date. Avery and Quincy want to name him so bad! They have suggested everything from Jiggly-Puff to Kirby. Uh, they won't have any say in that process. Sorry kids.

Exercise is a Four Letter Word

(b/c that is what I'd rather be doing.)

I have every excuse in the book not to exercise.

1. We can't afford fancy gym daycare.

2. Michael works a lot at 6 am and I'm not about to get up at 4. I like (understatement) sleep.

3. I'm exhausted at night. Plus, its the only family time we get, so I'm not interested in leaving to bust my butt.

4. I pee my pants. Thanks to birthing Avery, I have moderately severe incontinence. Like I can't run, or do the elliptical, or walk too fast, or jump, or laugh, or lift too much, or get scared, or blah, blah, blitty, blah . . . without inking myself. It sure discourages me from parts of life. But when I'm determined, I diaper up and change often. Cool.

5. I HATE exercise videos b/c I'm sadly a modern girl who needs music, a book, or a movie to muscle through an hour of torture. Sometimes I'll do them. :(

6. I worked out for MONTHS with ZERO results. I dieted for MONTHS with ZILCH shrinking. I have lost a few pounds with drastic measures, but I quickly gained the weight back. So now, I'll start up again for a few weeks and think this time will be different, but I soon lose motivation (not pounds). I still have hope something will work.

BUT, I laid in bed the other night praying and brainstorming, and here's what I got: Exercise bike. I did some research on how to get a good bike workout. AND there's no pee, no gym, and no restrictive schedule. Thank you Ollie for letting me borrow your bike while I figure out if it's worth a buy.

I'm doing 50 minutes daily of sweaty, sweaty cardio (incorporating intervals). And I'm doing Weight Watchers (again). After 3 days of diet and biking (drumroll) ............. I have gained 2 pounds. Sweet. And I'm having flashbacks of past efforts. But of course its much too early to give up. You skinny folk might not understand, but sometimes, for some people, its not simply a matter of cals in and cals out. Cross my fat heart.

All I have to do is DREAM, DREAM, DREAM

I have been urged by some friends and family to blog more. 'Bout what, though? Well, lets talk about my dream world. In no particular order, I give you, kind folks, an abbreviated list of some of the loveliness I plan to attain!

1. I'm thin and fit. Phew! What a struggle THAT's been, for the last 3 years especially. SOMETHING in my body has changed dramatically. Screw age! Damn genetics! Curses to weird bodily ailments and mysteries! But I've got a new resolve and I'm gonna make something happen! I might have to work out twice as hard and eat half as much as normal folk, but if that's what I have to do, I'll do it!!! (Now watch me get pregnant finally.)

2. I live in a pretty house in the country. That's new for me. I've always been a city girl b/c I like consumer-ing so very much. But, I have discovered that I want a quiet peace away from too many neighbors. I don't want to keep up with Jones' either. I want to feel safe and let my kids run outside all day. And I want that house to be modest. Crisp, classic, and average.

3. I'm rich. LOAD-ED. But no one knows it. I'm able to give and give and give, mostly anonymously. So we live in a well-kept medium size house, have a couple almost new cars, employ a bit of help in the house and yard, and travel all over the world. Even our children are not aware of our wealth, and will not be excessively spoiled. Oh, and Michael doesn't have to work long hours since he pays other people (generously) to do his bidding.

4. My parents live RIGHT next door. My dad and I garden together. My kids run between houses as they please. We see Michael's side of the family more b/c we don't have to travel to see my folks. My mom and I cook all natural, organic-y meals together. And we exercise together. And of course shop together. I work on their feet to keep them in the best of health. Michael and I even get to go on the occasional date (EVEN OVERNIGHT) b/c we have 2 fabulous sitters next door. Okay, one fabulous one. Dad needs some coaching there.

5. We have 4-6 kids. Or maybe more. Because it's dream world and our kids are swell and we're ridiculously marvelous parents. So we have loads of fun, witty, smart, gorgeous, loving, helpful, healthy, faithful, obedient children. We eat meals together, vacation together, worship together, and laugh all the day long. My kids are over-achievers, but are not over-scheduled. Loads of friends think of our house as their second home b/c we keep an open door to all (ish).

That's enough dreaming for now. As if I'm a child, I naively believe the world can be mine. Stay tuned. You'll see.

Buwahahahaha (evil laugh with hands rubbing together in plot)

This is a copy of the letter I received (in scroll form) on my birthday last week. Michael's so fun :) I have to say that I was pretty easy on him, considering the power in my hands!

Happy Birthday my sweet lil’ Summerlicious!

I am so happy its your special day, but so sorry were broke! And since we have no money to get presents for each other this year, I wanted to give you something money can’t buy!

You are my Queen, and I LOVE YOU SO MUCH that I would do anything for you. So that’s exactly what you are getting today, on your very special spoiling day – ANYTHING YOU WANT! If you want me to clean house, done. If you want me to cook food, the oven is on. If you want me to scrub toilets, I got the brush! If you want a back massage, or to play with your hair, or to rub your feet, or to mop the floor, or to do laundry, paint your toenails, snuggle with you, or anything at all, I’m your man. I will dance for you, sing for you, write you a song, mince vegetables, clean the garage, act like an animal, shower you with hugs and kisses, jump for you, roll in the snow for you, (nekkid if you so desire), or even go shopping for you! I will take you out shopping, (yah, I said it twice), out to a movie, to the library, to run errands, or out on a cruise. If you want a ride on me back like a horse, I will make horse sounds. If you want to sleep all day long, I will make sure you are not disturbed. I will do the dishes, take care of the kids, floss your teeth, draw you a bath, or even lick your toes! I’ll read you a book, vacuum the floors, or paint the walls, or change light bulbs. I will shovel snow, rearrange furniture, sit and talk about life and dreams, or build you anything you want.

So what I’m trying to say is, TODAY IS YOUR DAY because you deserve anything you want, AND I WILL DO WHATEVER, (anything), YOU WANT. I am your SLAVE FOR THE DAY! Because you are my Queen and I will do anything for you because I love you so much!!!

Time is running! You better start making some demands, my QUEEN!!!

Yours truly,

Michael Slaver, your Slave.

P.S. I know you should be treated like a Queen EVERYDAY, and I’ll try to be better at that. But at least for today, you will be a queen all day!!!

Confusion, Frustration, and Hypocrisy

(Warning: Stop reading unless you want way too much information into my personal life.)

Ahhhh life. Lately I'm feeling very wrapped up inside my own head. We've had an awful, terrible, horrendous year financially. And I've tried to do the right things, like support the husband, live within our means, swallow pride, put family first, and keep perspective. I have not been able to afford eating out, or dates, or sitters, or gifts, or make-up. We eradicated most every luxury we could. (I say most... you see that we still have internet). At the worst, I have been so broke that I wondered where the diapers, toilet paper, deodorant and rent would come from. And I have all these awful thoughts, like... I'm better than that. Like, I'm 31 and should own a house. Like, I'm too good to swipe my food card in the grocery line. Like I deserve more. For months I have gone to the store and bought food (thank you Uncle Sam) and NOTHING more. We made do. And then I cracked. I just bought what we needed and some things I wanted... on credit. Credit we couldn't afford. Dumb. Now we're back to square one, but with debt on top of our woes.

And while I might be feeling somewhere close to bitter today, I should be feeling grateful. God himself has kept a roof over our heads and food in our mouths. We're all clothed, clean, warm, and healthy. And I absolutely adore my little family. I hear stories of true poverty and suffering, so how can I complain? Haiti, India, Guatemala... I live in America where our standard of living is so high that because my wants aren't met, I am pitied. If I lived in a 3rd world country, our lifestyle would exceed all those around me. I deserve no more than anyone on this planet. I try to remember that, and most of the time I do... but today, hmmm... .

I'm tired. I'm tired of the uncertainty, the instability. I'm tired of my husband working sooooo hard at multiple jobs for next to NOTHING. Running a business can blow... but the rainbow we're chasing is always just around the corner. And really, the corporate ladder rarely offers opportunities for greatness. 'Yes sir. No sir. May I have a raise, sir?' I absolutely respect that world and it certainly offers more security, but it's just not for Michael. He dreams big. So I hang on. By my teeth.

Life is supposed to be hard, right? But I feel confused... and sad inside about that. I KNOW God exists, and I KNOW he hears my prayers, but I don't understand His will and timing. Why did my friend's baby have to die? Why haven't we made money yet? Why can't my parents live by me? Why do I have the MOST annoying health issues that make me the Good Year Blimp who may or may not have ripped through the bums of two pairs of pj pants this month? I'm such a hypocrite. I pray that the Lord will spare us from real, true tragedy... and He does. I let Him know that I'm willing to learn life's lessons through other means, so bring it on... and He does. So WHY in the world do I feel any sort of frustration, confusion, or hypocrisy? I have no right. The nerve of myself! Uh, note to self: Reroute to gratitude. Reroute dang-it!

(I hope to be the subject of an incredible rags-to-riches story someday. And I hope to be the most generous, humble, and kind sort of rich folk.)

I AM A WITCH DOCTOR!!! but seriously.

Long story. A surprising twist to my life. Where to start. So a good friend of mine (Sarah C.) went to see a "Renewist" and recommended I do the same. I was uninsured, battling with health annoyances, and just plain curious, so early in '09, I went to see Jamie, a SureFooted Health Renewist. I guess its like Reflexology on 'roids. She was amazing and I was amazed. She did these moves on my feet and proceeded to tell me all about MY medical history. It felt like voo-doo, but it was so scientific and specific. She knew I had bladder problems (thank you Avery), knew my back was sore (thank you car accident) and even knew I was having current food allergies in my throat (thank you OJ). She was dead-on with her observations. BUT, would it help FIX my maladies? Okay, sit down for some TMI. The very main reason I went in was because I have struggled with anxiety bad for a few years now. It has been constant since Quincy was born. Meds took the edge off, but I was tired of the drugs. And they kept me fat. SERIOUSLY, after she was done working her magic, I felt great. Balanced. Peaceful. Palpably so. It lasted about 4 days. I went again. Lasted about a week. Went again. Lasted a couple weeks. Went again and it lasted a month. Wow! WOW! I felt like myself again.

THEN life hit. HARD. Michael is self-employed. Around April, his business could only stay alive by cutting us off the payroll. So we lived off savings for a while. When they ran out, we struggled for life, for air, for sanity. Ironically, right before all this went down, I decided to cold turkey any meds I was on. You know, since I was doing so good. But then... STRESS! And no money to see Jamie! So I went to a very hard place. Anxiety attacks, even panic attacks. I felt TERRIBLY unsafe. I could not see the light of day. I was a beast. Cool. Michael felt strongly that he should be the one to provide for us. I felt the same. However, his job search was slow going. He needed to find a job that would pay the bills and still allow him to keep working at his own business (you know, for free). It was a tall order in this economy. I do have a degree, although arguably useless (History). If I did put my education to work, I would have to leave in the day and I REFUSED to put my kids in daycare. I'm super over-protective that way. I filled out loads of night job applications, but again couldn't kick the feeling that Michael was to get the job. With nothing short of a miracle, he landed a 2nd job at Pepperide Farms loading freight early in the mornings. The hours and pay were perfect to pull us through. I was so proud of him for putting aside pride and sticking with his dreams at the same time. He works 2 jobs now, and it takes its toll, but he gets to keep building his business dream and he pays the bills.

Now, as we began to pull out of that mess, I decided to get back on meds. I had to. No choice. Fatty or not. I had no money to pay for the voo-doo. Being on a better medicine this time, I began to think clearly. As I assessed the last couple months, I knew that I couldn't ever stand to feel so helpless again. I needed a trade. Something I could fall back on and pick up immediately if I didn't know how to buy TP again. I considered hair, massage, esthetics, you name it. But what really kept coming to mind was my trips to Jamie. I wanted that skill. I wanted that knowledge on so many levels. I wanted to be able to keep my family, my loved ones, and myself healthy. I wanted an escape route from the meds. As I looked back, I felt so strongly that recent events were acutely designed to lead me to this part of my life. A path I NEVER would have chosen on my own. So with the help of my parents, I enrolled in the same school Jamie had attended. I graduated in November and it has changed my life. Not only did I learn that foot magic (AMAZING), but I also learned so much about the body, food, herbs, oils, etc... . I have become THAT girl. That crazy girl who would rather try natural remedies first and who has an essential oil for that and who wants to look at your feet and see what's wrong. I am that girl who is loading her family with veggies and decreasing the milk and meat significantly. I am even that girl who is making WHOLE WHEAT bread for health purposes and who NEEDS a Vita-mix so I can make green smoothies. I AM THAT GIRL. And I plan on being that girl for life. I love what I do, the things I know, and how I feel about taking care of our bodies. I even learned to love my body (despite its imperfections) because it has been good to me and every day a million trillion things work together miraculously to keep me alive. I struggle trying to find time to do my own feet, but when I do, my chronic conditions immediately improve. I'm certain that when I do commit to work on myself, I won't even pee my pants anymore! So there you go! I AM A WITCH DOCTOR!!!

I'm a Mom with Cute Kids. I'm Obligated to Post Pics.

I don't do enough picture posts.  So here's some in honor of the tykes who run our world!




Avery and Quincy are starting (kinda sorta) to be good buddies.  Avery loves pretending, which means Quincy does too.  Can you guess who's who?  Hint:  Avery's the one who stays in character.

Cute kids, huh.  That's all I have to say about that.




Quincy tags along for every adventure Avery creates, and as if she's an acquired taste, Avery's starting to dig it!

Twilight Lovers & Haters, Can't We All Just Get Along?

So WHAT you might ask is getting me off my duff to post??? WELL, CHECK IT OUT. We made some great friends in Hawaii, Mandy and Jake Kongaika, and Jake is an AMAZING musician. Serious, raw talent, all bias aside.  Sort of a Jack Johnson/Coldplay vibe.  I LOVE attending his concerts and he's seen a decent amount of success. I truly believe that for him its a matter of getting the word out, because once you hear it, you love it. So...onto Twilight.  I read the books.  I enjoyed them.  I watched the movie.  I enjoyed it.  I don't fit into either the obsession or the loathe category.  Believe it or not, there are people who fall in the middle.  Mandy, on the other hand IS obsessed with Twilight (stay with me here). She's been suggesting Jake write a song for it. He's never read it and has been hesitant.  She reminded him of a song he's written, but hadn't recorded that would be ABSOLUTELY perfect for a New Moon soundtrack. I'm talking PERFECT!   You'll know what I'm talking about if you read the book.  I was so excited when I heard him play it. So I've been pushing too because I believe New Moon is putting together its tracks right now. Might be a long shot, but Mandy sent the song to a head of an organization with some influence in the Twilight world (Twilight Moms).  The lady LOVED it, despite getting requests like this all the time.  Mesmerized was her word.  Twi-Mom lady sent it on to her connections in the Meyer camp and we'll see. So here I am trying to create a buzz in my lil' circle and spread the song around and get opinions. So if you like the song, let me know... or post it on your own forum (FB, MySpace, blog, whatever). Its just a rough take right now, but it still rocks. Imagine it more intense and haunting. He's working on recording a prof. version right now. Check out his website too (its on my side bar). I know some of you in my circle are Twilight haters (Tawnya, Ollie) BUT Jake rocks and deserves a break, vampire style or not. So pump it up and have a listen!!!

http://www.thesixtyone.com/cubworld/song/50931/

CRAP!

What happened to my sweet little girl???? She's as stubborn as she is smart-which is a personality trait we can't imagine having in the Schaefer household. And for the past two days, she has gotten herself into some "messes". So I walked into her room when I heard her awake in the morning, and I see her diaper on the floor and her shirt in a half off twisted mess. But assaulting my senses was the ominous smell of POO. I cautiously approach the crip, hoping my nose has betrayed me, but I do know poo, and there it was-- a couple brown treats smeared on the sheets. WHY??? WHY WHY WHY??????
The very next day, I gave her a piece of chocolate. She wanted more. I declined. Well, she's a persistent little gal. She found a grocery bag housing a poopy diaper and she pulled out a small chocolate football inside. Seriously. She brought it up to me with a disgusted look on her face. I had no idea what was transpiring, so I examined the mysterious brown ball closely. CRAP! It was a ball of crap! And it had her teeth marks in it!!!! WHY?????
Within a couple hours, she had once again pulled off a diaper, this time with poo in it and rubbed her poo-bum on the floor! WHYYYYYYYY?????????
Please don't be indicative of the days to come. Please don't indicative of the days to come. Please don't be indicative of the days to come.
Come back to me my sweet easy innocent attitude-less girl! Come back. Eh, at least she'll have her good looks and genius to get her through life. Even if she has a poo obsession.

Conversations with my minors

Avery had a scratch on his chest. He sees it in the mirror and comes out of the bathroom sulking:
"Avery's broken."
Oh, no! What happened?
"I got a scratch. Avery's broken. You need to get a new Avery."
Where do we get a new Avery?
"At the store."
What do we do with the old Avery?
"I dunno. Feed him to the monsters."

Quincy (my 19 month old, by the way) took off her diaper and began running around the house yelling, "I'm naked! I'm naked!" Avery stripped and joined her. I let the naked party roll for a few minutes when all of the sudden I hear Quincy call for me. And what do I see in her room? A big turd. Nice Quincy. So I say, "Oh, no! Quincy, this doesn't make me happy. You pooped!" She replies, "Daddy did it."
"Oh, really? Daddy did it?"
"Yeah."
"Daddy didn't do it."
"Oh, Lacie did it."
"Lacie pooped on the floor?"
"Yeah."
"Quincy, Lacie didn't poop on the floor."
"Dave did it."
"Dave pooped on the floor?"
"Yeah. Dave pooped on the floor."
"Quincy, I think you pooped on the floor."
"Dave did it. Dave did it. Dave did it."
"Quincy pooped on the floor."
"Lacie did it. Avery did it. Dave did it."
I even called Lacie and put her on speaker and Quincy continued to sell her out. I guess I should have a talk with Dave, Lacie, Michael, and Avery and ask them to PLEASE not poop on my floor.

Rockin' White Trash Bash!

Michael and I both have February birthdays, and we've been wanting to have a White Trash themed party, so we threw our own WT bash.  It pretty much butt-rocked.  Hot Dang!  Ollie, our cake-friend expert made us the most amazing trailer cake, complete with Christmas lights, a free kittens sign, cinder blocks with weeds growing up, the mailbox propped in tires, rickety stairs, broken lattice work, and a crooked TV antennae! The party had plenty of make-up, big hair, greasy food, Twinkies, mullets, acid wash, doilies, fake teeth, Nascar, a trashed front yard, a simmering bbq grill, 80's rock music, and Jerry Springer clips in the background.  I sported big hair, fake tats, obnoxious make-up, light up heels, rockin' jeans, and a fake name (Trixie Bell). Everyone got a special name for the party. Think Earlene, Cletus, Bobbie Jean, Cooter, Pervis, etc... .  Mike sported a wife beater, another shirt with eagles, nasty facial hair, and bleached pants.  Lacie had huge groupie hair, heavy makeup, a hot pink animal print tank, and overalls.  Dave came with a mullet, a tight t-shirt, and droopy shorts with King of the Hill boxers exposed.  Emily took the time to Bedazzle a rockin jean vest.  She wore a jean skirt, tights, leg warmers, a high pony tail, and colorific make-up.  Mike D. sported a polyester green leisure suit, a mullet, and fake teeth.  Ollie ripped up some tights for her armwear, wore an off the shoulder sweatshirt, had loads of make-up, and rocked a hot pink sash.  Joe rocked a shirt that said "Mom likes me best" and detailed the outfit with his Nascar hat.  Elisha showed off her prego belly for the first time with a tight shirt and propped a ponytail on the tip top of her head.  Oh, and we can't forget Andrew's braided rattail made out of a lock of Elisha's hair.  He also had a crazy shaved beard and a mechanic shirt with his name on it.  Melissa showed up with HUGE hair, and for the record, it's real.  She also had fancy blue eye-shadow like most of the other girls.  Kev had a nice mullet, crazy facial hair, and flannel shirt with the sleeves ripped off.  Brittany wore a shirt that showed her "belly" and could fly away with those wings in her hair.  We had awards, raffles, and contests (Hostess eating, arm wresting).  We even had an impromtu harmonica jammin ho down, thank you Mike D.  We assigned everyone a humorous conviction and took mug shots.  Then we moved on to glamour shots with an bling bling back drop.  Everybody stayed amazingly in their white trash persona.  Especially Michael.  He got me wondering if he's "acting" normal on a daily basis and his white trash character wasn't a charade at all!  We laughed pretty darn hard for drinking IBC's!  Check out the bash with our don't forget to click the arrow next to the pics for more.  You can also make them bigger by clicking them, and its probably worth your time.  Yee-haw!

Wall Decor

We rent. We don't love our place, but its all we could find at the time. We're hoping to buy soon, but because its not our home, I haven't been motivated to decorate. Well, now we've been here a year and a half and its time to beautify. Apparently Michael and I were on the same page, because on Christmas morning, we surprised each other with similar pictures in similar frames. So we did some exchanging and rearranging, and here is the final wall product. It makes me feel grown up.

Quincy 101

For those of you who have been keeping up on the Schaefer courses, it is time for Quincy 101. Quincy weirds me out. She's a 17 month old with the mind of a three year old stuck in a 12 month old's body. She's pretty amazing. The jury's still out on whether she's a genius, a master mimicker, or just highly motivated. I cannot begin to name the things she says, but I'll try:
make-up, Spider man, Wall-E, ni-night, Avery, Summer, Michael, Avy's sad, kitty, doggie, woof-woof, horsie, bird, fishy, elephant, cow, moo, no monkey bed, airplane, go bye-bye, get down, get out, Bapa (grandpa), Mommy, Daddy, baby, walk, eyes, nose, boob, mouth, foot, no, yes, okay, I want apple juice, eat, food, water, Lacie, Ollie, Sam, Jack, socks, shoes, hat, light, hug, kiss, I'm stuck, I'm sick, broke, fix it, watch this, jump, spin, slide, cookie, candy, donuts, cup, book, medicine, hug, kiss, this, that, and (my favorite) I dunno.
Not that she says these words perfectly, but they are definitely discernible. I LOVE baby speak. She even constructs brief sentences such as "I wanna sit up there."
She also answers almost every question in some fashion. Do you want to eat? Yes. Do you want to go to bed? No? What are you doing? I dunno. You can't have that. Why?
I suppose she's been ahead in the game since she was born on July 23, 2007... with TWO TEETH!!! One had to be pulled because it was loose. How weird is that!
She's been walking since she was ten months and is very steady on her feet. She climbs on everything and has been doing stairs since then (virtually) without incident. When she had just turned a year, she had enough prowess to climb up those huge blow up slides and slide down all by herself. Repeatedly. She has no fear.
She already plays pretend. She will pretend to be a dog. She barks, and crawls around carrying a shoe in her mouth, all while taking orders from Avery to sit and lay for treats. She also has asked me to put her baby doll to ni-night and feed it.
Not to be out done by Avery, Quincy will say "Watch this!" and proceed to do a "trick" of sorts such as stomping her feet or putting her head to the ground. She's hilarious.
One of my new favorite antics occurs at bedtime. Michael asked Quincy to say the prayer, so she folded her arms and bowed her head and muttered something. Then she lifted her head and said, "What?" I responded that she needed to say "Amen." So she threw open her arms and yelled "AMEN!" Talk about adorable. She now participates in family prayer rotation.
We think she might have been accidentally switched at birth. Not because of the genius. We know where she got that, but because of the stubbornness. No idea where that came from. She will do anything to avoid sleep. She has this amazing glare she gives when she's not happy. She also has a supernatural way of making someone hold her by climbing up their hold or doing a monkey hold. She has recently been known to hit or head butt to get her way.
Quincy LOVES people. She goes to almost any adult that comes over and snuggles in their arms. It's quite flattering. She does it a bit during church, making rounds to the adults for snuggle time.
She's also obsessed with her big brother. She follows him around all day trying to do exactly what he does. I wish I could say that he loved every minute of it.
One cannot talk of Quincy without mentioning food. Food is her friend. Maybe her BFF. She'll eat almost anything. If you've got food, you've also got a little friend in your lap. On Christmas morning, she just kept repeating, "Nandy! Nonuts! Nandy! Nonuts!"
Oh for crying out loud I almost forgot the very most important thing you need to know about Quincy: She has a crazy natural growing mullet. And I KNOW where she got that from!!! Can't win 'em all!
Quincy Lyn Schaefer is sooooo adorable and fabulous and an addition that we just couldn't live without! We sure love her! What? What's that I hear? I think its the bell. Go home. There's nothing else to see here.

Merry Christmas!

Right about now I wish I could still say Mele Kalikimaka! We are certainly having a white Christmas this year. In my old age, I have come to accept certain limitations, one of which is that I am incapable of sending out Christmas cards. However, with the miracle of blogging now in my life, I can post a cyber Christmas card and rid myself of any guilt I may have been carrying each time I opened the mailbox and found another card from a dear old friend.
We have had a very good year in the Schaefer household. We are quite happy in Logan and in our current situations, While all of our celebretory days in 2007 seemed to be jinxed, 2008 proved the opposite and we partied hardy all year long. Birthdays and holidays were filled with family, friends, food, and fun. We were able to see extended family on both sides many times this year. Because of this, our children are well aware that other people like them as much as we do. We're hoping for a repeat next year.
Michael has enjoyed and excelled in his job. We are so proud of him and his business partner Dave for building a business from scratch that can sustain us and allow me (and Dave's wife Lacie) to stay home with the kids. He loves what he does and hopes to never work for "the man" again. His internet based recruiting business has undergone some changes due to the economy, but they have rolled with the punches and we're still doing fine. For now, instead of recruiting truckers, they recruit health care workers. They named their new business Cebola (which means "onion" in Portugese) but they thought it sounded cool and medical-like-ish. Hopefully the healthcare industry will be more economy proof. Michael spends most of his spare time shopping. Oh, wait, that's not him. He spends most of his spare time with the family. He is an extremely fun and attentive husband and father. He's hoping in 2009 he'll be able to delve into past hobbies such as photography and sculpture.
Summer spends her days at home with the kids and most days she loves it. This year she got a bit better at juggling a productive life with two kids, although that is not to insinuate that she makes herself presentable daily. She likes to shop and gets a kick out of finding bargains. Its the only talent she's willing to develop. She has a handful of fabulous friends here in Logan, so many days are filled with them and their children. She continues to try to wish her parents out of Florida. So far its not working, but at least at the moment they have come to spend the holidays with her. She's still the same outspoken, quirky, all over the place Summer.
Avery is three and a half and growing up so fast. In fact, he just informed Grandma of that. "I getting really big. I don't touch boobs anymore." And its true. He doesn't. Usually. And he's potty trained. I should capitalize that. AVERY'S POTTY TRAINED. He was just ready, so he pretty much did it on his own. That's how he rolls. He's so sweet (especially when sugar is void in his system). He tells us many times a day: "I sure love you. And that makes you happy." He's right, it does. He keeps us laughing all day long with his boy-ness. He watches lots of Disney movies and acts out the parts. He also memorizes books to read to us. Avery is sooooo excited for Christmas. He wants fish candy, Christmas cookies, cake, and green soda more than anything. Oh, and a pink toilet.
Quincy is a bit of a freak of nature. I mean that in the nicest way. She's tiny for her 17 months, but speaks like a 2 year old. I can only begin to list the things she says: "I'm sick", "Avery's sad", "Summer!", "medicine", "I don't know", "Amen", "okay", "I want out", "I'm stuck", "I dunno", "Where's Daddy?", "make-up", ETC... . I remember being excited that Avery said "lights" at her age during the holidays. She is so independent, friendly, opinionated, and snuggly. She's already used the potty a couple times after telling us she had to go. She's pretty much amazing. I'll post more of an update on her when I make a Quincy 101.
We've had a fabulous and fun Christmas season filled with baking, shopping, tree decorating, gathering pine-cones in pj's, ugly-Christmas sweater work party, Grandparents, and stray cats. Fabulous. Fabulous. Fabulous. Except that we were supposed to go see my brother Shane and his family in Las Vegas, and due to a blizzard with impeccable timing, we remained in the land of Mormons.  Sad.  Grandma has helped out with every aspect of this busy holiday season, including reminding me to teach our children the Christmas story and its true meaning (via a nativity set and books). Its easy to get so busy that we forget our Savior. So I guess it was in the true Christmas spirit that Grandpa "adopted" stray cats for us. Grandpa started by putting out warm milk and leftovers for the cats. Then he decided to cut a door in a cardboard box and include a blanket. Then of course the box needed weather-proofed with plastic wrap. Grandpa then decided to purchase a heating light and a candle warmer to keep them warm in the snow. A stray kitty home wouldn't be complete without an outdoor thermometer to monitor how cold their home gets. So our kids sit and watch the cats from the safety of our sliding glass door. Its all very adorable.
We wish our many loved ones happiness, joy, peace, prosperity, and goodness, all of which are achieved through our Savior Jesus Christ. Happy Birthday-ish to Him!

Avery 101

If you're interested in your Schaefer BS degree, you need to become proficient in the most fabulous little boy ever:  Avery.  He's pretty much amazing and very unique.  He was born August 24, 2005 (a month early) with an alarmingly blue swollen face.  It wasn't cute.  He shocked Michael and I with his dark brown hair and long dark lashes.  Avery was opinionated from day one.  He was adamant about being held, snuggled, and nursed most of the day.  When I had to leave him as a baby, Michael would hold him with a worn shirt of mine and he would stop crying.  It seemed that when our friends came over, he was on his worst behavior (esp. if those friends were considering having children... Mike and Rozel).  He used to make some elongated goat bleat.  It was adorably strange, especially during the silent moments at church. People commented everyday on how beautiful he was.  Absolutely everyday.  Except they usually said "she" was gorgeous.  Cool.  He could have been a twin to the Gerber baby.  He has two crazy cowlicks bordering his Eddie Munster widow's peak.  It's endearing.  Avery was a baby with impeccable timing.  He would have a poop blowout right before church (regularly), he would belch in the middle of prayers (remember Schaefers?), and he would spit up (almost exclusively) on store floors.  He has the most infectious laugh I've ever heard to this day.  From an absurdly early age, Avery was mimicking the noises and movements of animals, even obscure ones like lemurs.  He performed on demand until he realized that's what we wanted.  He knew a lot of words in sign language too.  Avery's never been a good sleeper.  I nursed him to sleep for a good 2 years.  He slept in our bed longer than that.  We thought for a while that he might be "that" kid that wouldn't leave our side EVER.  Then he began to make friends and we became significantly less important.  His best buddies so far have been Dylan (in AZ), Jaden, Caleb, Sam, Wynn, and cousin Tyler.  He also thinks Caillou (the French Canadian cartoon bald boy) is a good friend of his.  Like his Dad, Avery is very loyal to the select few friends he chooses, yet despite the loyalty, peer pressure means nothing to him.  He does not waver in what he does and does not want.  He tells us all the time how much he loves his friends... and what they want for Christmas.  He also loves his grandparents on both sides very much and talks about then regularly.  He loves to snuggle with me and I love to snuggle back.  Its snuggletastic.  He still comes in our room in the night for just such a purpose.  I don't have the heart (or desire) to kick him out.  And he gives the best little boy puckered kisses.  He now goes to bed in his own room with a book and a prayer, although recently the idea of monsters have caused a hitch in our convenience.  We gave him "monster spray" (aka:  Febreze) and he about smoked us out of the house with it.  But there are no more monsters now.  Avery does things on his own time.  I've learned its better that way for all involved.  He crawled, walked, and weaned later than the average tike.  Potty training is following suit.  I think somehow he was born with a constitution of rights in his own little mind that he is certain he's entitled to.  Seeing as only certain things he won't be pushed or hassled on, I let him have his illusions of importance.  Like when he would not, could not go inside the house if Dad unlocked and opened the front door.  It had to be me.  Sure, sure Avery.  No problem.  Amazingly, Avery has been able to survive on Ramen, chicken nuggets, pancakes, hotdogs, apple juice, pb sandwiches, and the occasional round of fries.  I suppose I shouldn't forget the candy, cake, and cookies he's willing to choke down.   In fairness, he was quite allergic to dairy and eggs for the first couple years.  Now he won't touch the stuff and he absolutely refuses to try new things.  Soon he might have no choice because he has become "sugar sensitive."  A short time after consuming sugar and some "white" food, he goes certifiable.  He gets infuriated over anything and seems to feel his soul has been injured to the core.  In his words, "sugar makes me mean."  Its true.  We're on three days sugar free and he's had no fits of rage.  Amazing.  Avery has long been a poop-denier. He'd be pooping (OBVIOUSLY) in his diaper and we'd ask him if he was.  He'd say "NNNNOOOO" in a very strained voice with a red face.  Recently, he started to say, "Mom, I pooped, and that's the truf."  Its hilarious.  Avery enjoys being a dog or a dinosaur on occasion.  One time after nursery, his teacher told me he stayed under the table most of the day roaring at the other kids like a lion in a den.  Avery loves Quincy... but he's kinda mean to her.  She spoils his plans.  So he has been known to push her down then run himself to timeout or hide from me.  He is a sponge ready to learn.  He loves books, puzzles, cartoons, animals, Monster trucks, and most boy-ly things.  He's very smart and observant.  He sees and points to things that I just can't seem to find.  He loves to cook, and has an obsession with squirt bottles.  He says the funniest things, like one time after sugar intake, he was fuming over something irrational and yelled, "I don't wanna follow Jesus!!!"  Or on the sweet side of things, after eating out once, Quincy was walking the wrong way as we were leaving and Avery said, "But we will miss her so much!"  He's often very polite.  In his sweet squeaky toddler voice, he often exclaims, "OH!  Thanks MOM!"  Melts my heart.  We love Avery so very very much!    He's got us wrapped around his crooked little pinky.  (It really is crooked).  Class dismissed.

Michael 101

I love my husband and I feel like writing about him.  Did you know that he went to BYU Hawaii and graduated in art (3D sculpture).  He's pretty amazing at recreating the human form.  He gets up in the morning with the kids if I need to sleep.  He's a germ freak.  He won't pass the sacrament tray by the handle and he won't let his bare feet EVER touch the floor (shower floor included).  His sister even made him socks to fit his slippers (see pic above).  He is the best dad ever.  Within an hour of his arrival home, the kids are both laughing uncontrollably as he contrives some new game with them.  He can entertain any group of kids with only himself as a prop and no prep time.  It's weird.  He's fiercely loyal.  Once you're in good with him, you can do no wrong.  He wanted to be an actor for years.  He probably still does, but I've never seen him act.  He's currently very happy in the business world.  He never wants to work for a boss again.  He's very protective of me and the kids.  He has themed weeks.  Like this week was his snap-button shirt week.  Other weeks are no jeans, or only striped shirts, etc... .  He has a fabulous and trim physique.  He doesn't eat much.  He hates HOT showers.  He says he likes MY butt and I think he's serious.  MY big butt.  I think he has super powers cause I get pregnant if we stand too close.  He's proud of that.  He enjoys friends and thinks fondly of his glory bachelor days in Hawaii.  His friends there called him Diehard.  He loves to surprise me.  He doesn't do dishes or bathroom duty.  He takes forever to poop.  He's a softy with our kids.  He's not a fan of all kids.  His beard is red and only grows in patches.  He loves his parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, in-laws, niece and nephew more than any man I've met.  That's how I knew he'd be such a good spouse.  He's kind of a genius at finding answers on the internet.  He educates himself via the internet everyday.  He seems to know all the current events.  He lets me go out on girl's night whenever I want to.  He likes to spend all his free time with me and the kids.  He's a light sleeper.  He likes to snuggle.  He won't share his nail clippers.  He can't live without chocolate.  He's generous with money when he can be.  He says every night that its my turn to say the prayer.  He doesn't read books.  He likes watching the Hills and America's Next Top Model with me.  He lets me dress him occasionally.  He hates to spend money on himself.  He supports me in all the goals I make.  He never ever yells.  He spits in the toilet every time he pees.  He lines even our toilet if he sits on it.  He's faithful to God, to me, and to the family.  He's a free spirit.  He's confident.  He's not a procrastinator anymore.  That's a miracle, by the way.  He puts a lot of hours into his church service.  His employees genuinely like him.  I think he's a "cool" boss.  He enjoys his work and his partner "an 11 out of 10."  He drives slow like an old man.  He's crazy-observant visually.  He tells me to "Look!" all the time.  He plans on being rich.  He's a light sleeper and a great snuggler.  Course over.  Michael 201 sometime in the future.  

Halloween '08

I know this is a bit late, but for anyone who knows me, that's typical.  After all the excitement leading up to Halloween, our camera needed batteries and we were out, so I stole these pics from Lacie.  We had a fabulous Halloween.  Avery was a dinosaur.  He wouldn't wear the hat and pretended to be a pirate instead when he met up with his friend Jaden as a pirate.  Quincy was an ADORABLE care bear.  I was Smurfette and Michael was a lucky troll.  We LOVE Halloween.  We worked so hard to get the costumes just right and THAT was an internet ride of a life.  I had been visiting my parent's in FL all the way until the 30th and I got into SLC around midnight.  By the way, that flight was also crazy BUT I only met "good" people who were soooooo nice and helpful.  Anyway, we got to our house after 2am and I was greeting by an incredibly CLEAN, HAUNTED house!  I was totally blown away that MY husband cleaned every inch of the house and then decorated those inches.  The vaulted ceiling was covered in spider webs.  The walls were covered with huge pumpkin pictures.  Some lights were replaced with black lights and others covered with plastic jack-o-lanterns.  Ghosts were hanging from the ceiling and fans and even one on a pulley in the bathroom.  He had created a HUGE jack-o-lantern out of lights hanging in the front window.  Turns out Michael had a LOT of time on his hands while I was gone.  It was INCREDIBLE!!!  Anyway, pictures did not do justice, but I'll post some later if I get a hold of my friend's camera.  On Halloween night, we met up with friends and went up and down Main Street shops, went to the mall, went to the church Trunk-or-Treat, and hit up one house.  Then we had friends over and ate soup, played games, and let the kids run wild hopped up on candy.  That night as Michael and I were laying in bed, Michael seemed sad and I asked why.  "It's over."  Remember that awful feeling as a kid when Christmas was over?  Poor Michael.