Tuesday, March 18, 2008

A TALE OF TITTIES FOR TWO

Let me take you on a journey.  A journey only for the brave, the stout of heart, and of course the curious voyeur.  Here's the visual.  Imagine a 2 year old throwing a typical fit.  Screaming, whining, flailing limbs, the whole bit.  Now pepper in a shrill "BOOOOOOOOOOBIE!  BOOOOOOOOOBIE!  I WANT BOOOOOOOOBIE!"  Add in an exasperated me in one of many positions, lets say lying on my stomach in bed with my arms crossed over my chest screeching "No boobie.  No boobie.  No boobie."  Multiply that basic image many times a day, and you are starting to glimpse my journey through the world of nursing.  
A few things about myself:  I grew up anti-nursing.  The idea of having another human being suck juice made from modified sweat glands out of my nipples was not appealing.  I was quite adamant.  But once I got pregnant and already loved that baby in my belly, my husband and I decided I would give nursing a go for health reasons.  Avery joined us in August 2005 and the saga begins.  He loved nursing.  LOVED IT!  In retrospect, he came to love it more than the average sucker.  We were vagrants for about a year after his birth moving from Hawaii to Missouri to Florida to Arizona, shifting places in between each move.  So I was Avery's only constant.  Me and my boobs.  He didn't have a crib in any of those places as we were crashing with family while trying to settle after Michael's schooling.  He slept with us and nursed multiple times through the night.  I was fine with that because I'm a softy and reasoned that he was certainly unsure about his ever changing surroundings.  He came to want a suckle anytime he cried, day or night, and I obliged.  At one point, he was nursing over 12 times through the night and I wanted to die.  But I'm such a SOFTY!  At that point, I began to sleep train him, but we moved again and derailed the whole process.  When Avery was around 9 months, we figured out (via hives and vomitting) that he was allergic to both eggs and milk.  That eliminates a lot of baby food possibilities.  So as a year (the typical time to wean in America) came around, Avery loved my boobs more than ever and had a very limited diet.  I decided there was no reason to wean just yet.  The nursing didn't bother me at all.  I did my research and learned that your milk changes with time to fit the needs of older nursers.  I also learned that the world average for weaning is 4 and a half years.   Yummy!  Further, it was helpful in reducing allergies.  And lastly, I read that some kids have a super-special-tastic attachment to nursing and weaning them before THEY are ready could result in feelings of rejection and a regression of skills.  Weaning would certainly send Avery into a tailspin!  So we continued to nurse.  I acted as the binky and the blankie and the squishy, or whatever else kids love.  We made sure to only nurse in the privacy of our own home, so as he got older, it became our little not socially accepted secret.  But our little family was convinced it was still right for us.  And to some degree, I think it was.  Keyword:  WAS.  I held to the fact that kids in America that self ween do so at about 2 and a half.  With a little prodding, I was sure I could gently push that date earlier.  But I was in no hurry.  Then, fertile-myrtle-me got pregnant despite my round the clock nursing.  Nursing through that had its rocky points.  I think my body was drained so I caught every sickness catchable in my first trimester and I was exhausted.  So I half-heartedly began to try to ween.  Every progression came with backsliding (a tribute to my will-power).  When Avery was about 18 months, we were presented with an offer to move to Utah.  We jumped at the chance, but the next few months were crazy and provided even more reasons not to wean my little tumor.  I then made a conscious decision to nurse two kids, tandem style.  I bought a book on the subject, and became semi-convinced that it'd all be fine.  So we moved to Logan in June and Quincy was born in July.   Avery went from seeming like my baby to becoming a giant vacuum over night!  From there on out, it was one kid on each boob. For those of you who don't know, when you first begin nursing, it its PAINFUL!  Imagine oompa-loompa mini razors scratching at your nipples every time your newborn begins to suck.  It's the tears in your eyes, curl your toes and squeak type of pain.  At least I would get out of that with Quincy since I never stopped nursing.  WRONG!  Sadly but truly, WRONG!  Turns out, it is the hormone, rather than the soft virgin nipples that cause pain.  So Quincy's suckle was nothing compared to the strong pull of a two year old.  OUCH!  To add to my woes, Quincy was born (literally) with two teeth!  So she bites occasionally and her only instinct with a bottle or pacifier is to BITE it!  She just can't seem to grasp either concept, so I am her only source of nutrition and pacifying.  Sweet.  Moving on to the here and now, I have made my bed and I'm laying in it.  Avery is too young to get the concept that there would be no personal vendetta against him if I cut him off.  Rather I must wait until I wean Quincy too, so it's nothing personal and Mom is just out of milk.  Luckily he's old enough to understand boundaries to a degree and his nursing times are very limited.  For a time, with all the new boundaries set, Avery became obsessed with at least touching my boobs.  He'd stick his hand down my shirt any time or place he felt like it for comfort.  And he'd suck one boob while trying to roll the other nipple in his fingers like a booger.  That got halted quickly!  Having said that, he still tries to suck or touch them many many times a day and certainly every time Quincy nurses.  If I say no, I hear a whiny, "I want to touch it!  Let me touch it!!!"  Needless to say, my boobs hang much lower than any 30 year old's should.  Yet the pliability pathetically makes lying on my pack with a boob in each arm-pit and a kid in each arm crook possible.  Awesome.  Awaiting the days until freedom, for now we just have to chuckle at the occasional antics that come.  I never thought I'd let a kid that can say, "Mom, the giraffe is sad and needs boobie ni-night from the mommy giraffe" suck my teet.  But I do.  So at times when our lovely son comes screeching into our room in the middle of the night with a croaky sleep voice saying, "Mommmmmmy!  Booooooobie!" we roll our eyes, chuckle a bit, and I assume the position of melon protection  as I get mauled by the boobie monster.  This too shall pass, but in case there's any doubt, Quincy has a normal attitude toward the boob and will be weaned at a year... if I make it!







11 comments:

Brittany Osborn said...

Wow. That would be really tough. I thought getting Malachi out of our bed and into his own was really tough but your deal is much harder. I hope you survive it! I worked part-time when nursing Malachi (we weaned at one) and I would get so full at work. I didn't have time to pump and so I understand about the sagginess dang it. I never thought I would consider plastic surgery but sometimes I do now!

Danielle said...

Holy Crap! No offense, but I don't know that I've ever laughed so hard in my life!!! You are hilarious and I'm sorry about the "boobie" situation. Parker occasionally asks to see my nipples, and I about freak out. He thinks it's funny and he hasn't nursed for over a year!!

Aaron and Jessie said...

Alright Summer, I'm glad you've got the blog thing going since we are both terrible at keeping in touch this will give us an update on what's going on in each others lives. I can't believe it's already been like 7 months since we came up there. We still haven't headed down to the "hot bean burrito" as you call it, but come the end of May we'll be down there. Do you ever come down this way? I'm living with my parents until Aaron finishes training, so we should get together before we move.

The Aspirant said...

Welcome to the blogosphere!! I'm very excited to keep up on my baby, Quincy! Remember, I kept telling people in the stores she was my baby? Those were such fun times!!

Brynne, Aaron and Cade said...

No wonder having two is harder than one, you're nursing BOTH and they're what, 2 1/2 years apart??? Wow, Summer, I could never do it. Hang in there sister!

RitterB's said...

Dang that was funny! Only you can pull of that blog sister! All I can say is that I am so glad nursing was NOT an option with little Noah... My girls are milk free!!!

Dixons said...

So these are the things I have to look forward to!?? Summer, you kill me. That was hilarious. I'm crying, I'm laughing so hard. You are one of a kind!

Dustin said...

sick.

Maren said...

Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. That is the craziest nursing story I have heard- and I have heard some! Holy Cow!( sorry, no pun intended)I don't know how you can handle it. You are amazing. Good luck with all the future nursing. And i found the 'one boob in each arm pit' particularly hilarious. By the way, this is Maressa'a younger sister. I always thought you were funny. With this post, you have confirmed that even more.

Jenny said...

Summer...you totally crack me up! We love you and want to see you one of these days.

Mindy B said...
This comment has been removed by the author.

About Me

My photo
Logan, UT
So I used to think... I used to think it was my world. Maybe Michael thought it was his. But we have been re-educated. By a 4 year old and a 2 year old. It's their world. We live in it.

A peek into our window

Birth of Child #1

Birth of Child #1
He looked like a blue alien. Luckily it didn't stick. And thank goodness we didn't go with Michael's idea to name him based on what he looked like.

Birth of Child #2

Birth of Child #2
Much less eventful, thank goodness! She was born with red hair and 2 teeth... and skin colored skin!

Quincalicious!

  • Quincy says "Where's Avy? I dunno." She talks sooo much and she's so small (5th percentile) that is seems like she shouldn't be talking at all.
  • She roams wildly during church and has become quite the scavenger approaching anyone with food. Its embarrasingly adorable!
  • Quincy's vocab has exploded to include the words, "please, thank you, outside, sucker, candy, Avery, Grandpa, slide, ride, hold you, ni-night, water, bird, doggie, airplane, etc.....! She seems so little!
  • One of the most "wow" things she has done is climb one of those HUGE blow-up slides and slide down REPEATEDLY, ALL BY HERSELF!!!
  • Quincy (with great effort) threw the upper couch cushions on the floor and then proceeded to dive off couch, climb back up, repeat.
  • She says"I want: cookie, go, this, that, drink, wa-wa, play." She also says no, baby, hello, bye-bye, and peek-a-boo. And of course she says "Mom and Da."
  • Quincy talks a lot now. But first thing in the day and then 100 more times: "I want coo-kie." Very telling about her love affair with food.

AVERYISMS

  • A day after being educated, Avery pulled down his pants and touched his boyhood saying, "Hey Grandma, these are my private parts." HA-larious!
  • (After using the bathroom) "I made a waterfall. Then I made it stop."
  • "Hey Dad. This is my [invisible] friend Caillou. Will you be a monster and scare us?"
  • "Grandpa, what's in your belly?" says Avery. Mom says, "What do you think is in there?" "A baby?" guesses Avery. "Nope. Just lots of cherries," says Grandpa Schaefer. HAH!
  • Quincy was crying in the middle of the night and Avery said, "Take a deep breath, Quincy." It was sweet.
  • Quincy was screaming like a pterodactyl for Avery's food, so he snapped "Chill Out Quincy!"
  • In Avery's first attempt at being a smart-a, he was playing with his friend Jaden Knight and we were asking the boys their full names. Avery responded that his name was Avery James Day. Might have had to be there.
  • Avery still tries to stick his hand down my shirt. When I won't let him, he occasionally asks if he can stick his foot down my shirt instead.
  • I told Avery that Heavenly Father lived in heaven. He thought I said he lived 'with Kevin', so in alarm he asked, "With Kevin and Melissa?!!!"
  • Avery was out cold and we had to go. It was odd how I couldn't wake him, so I threw him over my shoulder and started heading out. All of the sudden with startling gusto, he yelled "I see Jesus." I thought he was a visionary, but turns out he woke up just as I walked past a picture of Christ.