I AM A WITCH DOCTOR!!! but seriously.

Long story. A surprising twist to my life. Where to start. So a good friend of mine (Sarah C.) went to see a "Renewist" and recommended I do the same. I was uninsured, battling with health annoyances, and just plain curious, so early in '09, I went to see Jamie, a SureFooted Health Renewist. I guess its like Reflexology on 'roids. She was amazing and I was amazed. She did these moves on my feet and proceeded to tell me all about MY medical history. It felt like voo-doo, but it was so scientific and specific. She knew I had bladder problems (thank you Avery), knew my back was sore (thank you car accident) and even knew I was having current food allergies in my throat (thank you OJ). She was dead-on with her observations. BUT, would it help FIX my maladies? Okay, sit down for some TMI. The very main reason I went in was because I have struggled with anxiety bad for a few years now. It has been constant since Quincy was born. Meds took the edge off, but I was tired of the drugs. And they kept me fat. SERIOUSLY, after she was done working her magic, I felt great. Balanced. Peaceful. Palpably so. It lasted about 4 days. I went again. Lasted about a week. Went again. Lasted a couple weeks. Went again and it lasted a month. Wow! WOW! I felt like myself again.

THEN life hit. HARD. Michael is self-employed. Around April, his business could only stay alive by cutting us off the payroll. So we lived off savings for a while. When they ran out, we struggled for life, for air, for sanity. Ironically, right before all this went down, I decided to cold turkey any meds I was on. You know, since I was doing so good. But then... STRESS! And no money to see Jamie! So I went to a very hard place. Anxiety attacks, even panic attacks. I felt TERRIBLY unsafe. I could not see the light of day. I was a beast. Cool. Michael felt strongly that he should be the one to provide for us. I felt the same. However, his job search was slow going. He needed to find a job that would pay the bills and still allow him to keep working at his own business (you know, for free). It was a tall order in this economy. I do have a degree, although arguably useless (History). If I did put my education to work, I would have to leave in the day and I REFUSED to put my kids in daycare. I'm super over-protective that way. I filled out loads of night job applications, but again couldn't kick the feeling that Michael was to get the job. With nothing short of a miracle, he landed a 2nd job at Pepperide Farms loading freight early in the mornings. The hours and pay were perfect to pull us through. I was so proud of him for putting aside pride and sticking with his dreams at the same time. He works 2 jobs now, and it takes its toll, but he gets to keep building his business dream and he pays the bills.

Now, as we began to pull out of that mess, I decided to get back on meds. I had to. No choice. Fatty or not. I had no money to pay for the voo-doo. Being on a better medicine this time, I began to think clearly. As I assessed the last couple months, I knew that I couldn't ever stand to feel so helpless again. I needed a trade. Something I could fall back on and pick up immediately if I didn't know how to buy TP again. I considered hair, massage, esthetics, you name it. But what really kept coming to mind was my trips to Jamie. I wanted that skill. I wanted that knowledge on so many levels. I wanted to be able to keep my family, my loved ones, and myself healthy. I wanted an escape route from the meds. As I looked back, I felt so strongly that recent events were acutely designed to lead me to this part of my life. A path I NEVER would have chosen on my own. So with the help of my parents, I enrolled in the same school Jamie had attended. I graduated in November and it has changed my life. Not only did I learn that foot magic (AMAZING), but I also learned so much about the body, food, herbs, oils, etc... . I have become THAT girl. That crazy girl who would rather try natural remedies first and who has an essential oil for that and who wants to look at your feet and see what's wrong. I am that girl who is loading her family with veggies and decreasing the milk and meat significantly. I am even that girl who is making WHOLE WHEAT bread for health purposes and who NEEDS a Vita-mix so I can make green smoothies. I AM THAT GIRL. And I plan on being that girl for life. I love what I do, the things I know, and how I feel about taking care of our bodies. I even learned to love my body (despite its imperfections) because it has been good to me and every day a million trillion things work together miraculously to keep me alive. I struggle trying to find time to do my own feet, but when I do, my chronic conditions immediately improve. I'm certain that when I do commit to work on myself, I won't even pee my pants anymore! So there you go! I AM A WITCH DOCTOR!!!

I'm a Mom with Cute Kids. I'm Obligated to Post Pics.

I don't do enough picture posts.  So here's some in honor of the tykes who run our world!




Avery and Quincy are starting (kinda sorta) to be good buddies.  Avery loves pretending, which means Quincy does too.  Can you guess who's who?  Hint:  Avery's the one who stays in character.

Cute kids, huh.  That's all I have to say about that.




Quincy tags along for every adventure Avery creates, and as if she's an acquired taste, Avery's starting to dig it!

Twilight Lovers & Haters, Can't We All Just Get Along?

So WHAT you might ask is getting me off my duff to post??? WELL, CHECK IT OUT. We made some great friends in Hawaii, Mandy and Jake Kongaika, and Jake is an AMAZING musician. Serious, raw talent, all bias aside.  Sort of a Jack Johnson/Coldplay vibe.  I LOVE attending his concerts and he's seen a decent amount of success. I truly believe that for him its a matter of getting the word out, because once you hear it, you love it. So...onto Twilight.  I read the books.  I enjoyed them.  I watched the movie.  I enjoyed it.  I don't fit into either the obsession or the loathe category.  Believe it or not, there are people who fall in the middle.  Mandy, on the other hand IS obsessed with Twilight (stay with me here). She's been suggesting Jake write a song for it. He's never read it and has been hesitant.  She reminded him of a song he's written, but hadn't recorded that would be ABSOLUTELY perfect for a New Moon soundtrack. I'm talking PERFECT!   You'll know what I'm talking about if you read the book.  I was so excited when I heard him play it. So I've been pushing too because I believe New Moon is putting together its tracks right now. Might be a long shot, but Mandy sent the song to a head of an organization with some influence in the Twilight world (Twilight Moms).  The lady LOVED it, despite getting requests like this all the time.  Mesmerized was her word.  Twi-Mom lady sent it on to her connections in the Meyer camp and we'll see. So here I am trying to create a buzz in my lil' circle and spread the song around and get opinions. So if you like the song, let me know... or post it on your own forum (FB, MySpace, blog, whatever). Its just a rough take right now, but it still rocks. Imagine it more intense and haunting. He's working on recording a prof. version right now. Check out his website too (its on my side bar). I know some of you in my circle are Twilight haters (Tawnya, Ollie) BUT Jake rocks and deserves a break, vampire style or not. So pump it up and have a listen!!!

http://www.thesixtyone.com/cubworld/song/50931/

CRAP!

What happened to my sweet little girl???? She's as stubborn as she is smart-which is a personality trait we can't imagine having in the Schaefer household. And for the past two days, she has gotten herself into some "messes". So I walked into her room when I heard her awake in the morning, and I see her diaper on the floor and her shirt in a half off twisted mess. But assaulting my senses was the ominous smell of POO. I cautiously approach the crip, hoping my nose has betrayed me, but I do know poo, and there it was-- a couple brown treats smeared on the sheets. WHY??? WHY WHY WHY??????
The very next day, I gave her a piece of chocolate. She wanted more. I declined. Well, she's a persistent little gal. She found a grocery bag housing a poopy diaper and she pulled out a small chocolate football inside. Seriously. She brought it up to me with a disgusted look on her face. I had no idea what was transpiring, so I examined the mysterious brown ball closely. CRAP! It was a ball of crap! And it had her teeth marks in it!!!! WHY?????
Within a couple hours, she had once again pulled off a diaper, this time with poo in it and rubbed her poo-bum on the floor! WHYYYYYYYY?????????
Please don't be indicative of the days to come. Please don't indicative of the days to come. Please don't be indicative of the days to come.
Come back to me my sweet easy innocent attitude-less girl! Come back. Eh, at least she'll have her good looks and genius to get her through life. Even if she has a poo obsession.

Conversations with my minors

Avery had a scratch on his chest. He sees it in the mirror and comes out of the bathroom sulking:
"Avery's broken."
Oh, no! What happened?
"I got a scratch. Avery's broken. You need to get a new Avery."
Where do we get a new Avery?
"At the store."
What do we do with the old Avery?
"I dunno. Feed him to the monsters."

Quincy (my 19 month old, by the way) took off her diaper and began running around the house yelling, "I'm naked! I'm naked!" Avery stripped and joined her. I let the naked party roll for a few minutes when all of the sudden I hear Quincy call for me. And what do I see in her room? A big turd. Nice Quincy. So I say, "Oh, no! Quincy, this doesn't make me happy. You pooped!" She replies, "Daddy did it."
"Oh, really? Daddy did it?"
"Yeah."
"Daddy didn't do it."
"Oh, Lacie did it."
"Lacie pooped on the floor?"
"Yeah."
"Quincy, Lacie didn't poop on the floor."
"Dave did it."
"Dave pooped on the floor?"
"Yeah. Dave pooped on the floor."
"Quincy, I think you pooped on the floor."
"Dave did it. Dave did it. Dave did it."
"Quincy pooped on the floor."
"Lacie did it. Avery did it. Dave did it."
I even called Lacie and put her on speaker and Quincy continued to sell her out. I guess I should have a talk with Dave, Lacie, Michael, and Avery and ask them to PLEASE not poop on my floor.

Rockin' White Trash Bash!

Michael and I both have February birthdays, and we've been wanting to have a White Trash themed party, so we threw our own WT bash.  It pretty much butt-rocked.  Hot Dang!  Ollie, our cake-friend expert made us the most amazing trailer cake, complete with Christmas lights, a free kittens sign, cinder blocks with weeds growing up, the mailbox propped in tires, rickety stairs, broken lattice work, and a crooked TV antennae! The party had plenty of make-up, big hair, greasy food, Twinkies, mullets, acid wash, doilies, fake teeth, Nascar, a trashed front yard, a simmering bbq grill, 80's rock music, and Jerry Springer clips in the background.  I sported big hair, fake tats, obnoxious make-up, light up heels, rockin' jeans, and a fake name (Trixie Bell). Everyone got a special name for the party. Think Earlene, Cletus, Bobbie Jean, Cooter, Pervis, etc... .  Mike sported a wife beater, another shirt with eagles, nasty facial hair, and bleached pants.  Lacie had huge groupie hair, heavy makeup, a hot pink animal print tank, and overalls.  Dave came with a mullet, a tight t-shirt, and droopy shorts with King of the Hill boxers exposed.  Emily took the time to Bedazzle a rockin jean vest.  She wore a jean skirt, tights, leg warmers, a high pony tail, and colorific make-up.  Mike D. sported a polyester green leisure suit, a mullet, and fake teeth.  Ollie ripped up some tights for her armwear, wore an off the shoulder sweatshirt, had loads of make-up, and rocked a hot pink sash.  Joe rocked a shirt that said "Mom likes me best" and detailed the outfit with his Nascar hat.  Elisha showed off her prego belly for the first time with a tight shirt and propped a ponytail on the tip top of her head.  Oh, and we can't forget Andrew's braided rattail made out of a lock of Elisha's hair.  He also had a crazy shaved beard and a mechanic shirt with his name on it.  Melissa showed up with HUGE hair, and for the record, it's real.  She also had fancy blue eye-shadow like most of the other girls.  Kev had a nice mullet, crazy facial hair, and flannel shirt with the sleeves ripped off.  Brittany wore a shirt that showed her "belly" and could fly away with those wings in her hair.  We had awards, raffles, and contests (Hostess eating, arm wresting).  We even had an impromtu harmonica jammin ho down, thank you Mike D.  We assigned everyone a humorous conviction and took mug shots.  Then we moved on to glamour shots with an bling bling back drop.  Everybody stayed amazingly in their white trash persona.  Especially Michael.  He got me wondering if he's "acting" normal on a daily basis and his white trash character wasn't a charade at all!  We laughed pretty darn hard for drinking IBC's!  Check out the bash with our don't forget to click the arrow next to the pics for more.  You can also make them bigger by clicking them, and its probably worth your time.  Yee-haw!

Wall Decor

We rent. We don't love our place, but its all we could find at the time. We're hoping to buy soon, but because its not our home, I haven't been motivated to decorate. Well, now we've been here a year and a half and its time to beautify. Apparently Michael and I were on the same page, because on Christmas morning, we surprised each other with similar pictures in similar frames. So we did some exchanging and rearranging, and here is the final wall product. It makes me feel grown up.

Quincy 101

For those of you who have been keeping up on the Schaefer courses, it is time for Quincy 101. Quincy weirds me out. She's a 17 month old with the mind of a three year old stuck in a 12 month old's body. She's pretty amazing. The jury's still out on whether she's a genius, a master mimicker, or just highly motivated. I cannot begin to name the things she says, but I'll try:
make-up, Spider man, Wall-E, ni-night, Avery, Summer, Michael, Avy's sad, kitty, doggie, woof-woof, horsie, bird, fishy, elephant, cow, moo, no monkey bed, airplane, go bye-bye, get down, get out, Bapa (grandpa), Mommy, Daddy, baby, walk, eyes, nose, boob, mouth, foot, no, yes, okay, I want apple juice, eat, food, water, Lacie, Ollie, Sam, Jack, socks, shoes, hat, light, hug, kiss, I'm stuck, I'm sick, broke, fix it, watch this, jump, spin, slide, cookie, candy, donuts, cup, book, medicine, hug, kiss, this, that, and (my favorite) I dunno.
Not that she says these words perfectly, but they are definitely discernible. I LOVE baby speak. She even constructs brief sentences such as "I wanna sit up there."
She also answers almost every question in some fashion. Do you want to eat? Yes. Do you want to go to bed? No? What are you doing? I dunno. You can't have that. Why?
I suppose she's been ahead in the game since she was born on July 23, 2007... with TWO TEETH!!! One had to be pulled because it was loose. How weird is that!
She's been walking since she was ten months and is very steady on her feet. She climbs on everything and has been doing stairs since then (virtually) without incident. When she had just turned a year, she had enough prowess to climb up those huge blow up slides and slide down all by herself. Repeatedly. She has no fear.
She already plays pretend. She will pretend to be a dog. She barks, and crawls around carrying a shoe in her mouth, all while taking orders from Avery to sit and lay for treats. She also has asked me to put her baby doll to ni-night and feed it.
Not to be out done by Avery, Quincy will say "Watch this!" and proceed to do a "trick" of sorts such as stomping her feet or putting her head to the ground. She's hilarious.
One of my new favorite antics occurs at bedtime. Michael asked Quincy to say the prayer, so she folded her arms and bowed her head and muttered something. Then she lifted her head and said, "What?" I responded that she needed to say "Amen." So she threw open her arms and yelled "AMEN!" Talk about adorable. She now participates in family prayer rotation.
We think she might have been accidentally switched at birth. Not because of the genius. We know where she got that, but because of the stubbornness. No idea where that came from. She will do anything to avoid sleep. She has this amazing glare she gives when she's not happy. She also has a supernatural way of making someone hold her by climbing up their hold or doing a monkey hold. She has recently been known to hit or head butt to get her way.
Quincy LOVES people. She goes to almost any adult that comes over and snuggles in their arms. It's quite flattering. She does it a bit during church, making rounds to the adults for snuggle time.
She's also obsessed with her big brother. She follows him around all day trying to do exactly what he does. I wish I could say that he loved every minute of it.
One cannot talk of Quincy without mentioning food. Food is her friend. Maybe her BFF. She'll eat almost anything. If you've got food, you've also got a little friend in your lap. On Christmas morning, she just kept repeating, "Nandy! Nonuts! Nandy! Nonuts!"
Oh for crying out loud I almost forgot the very most important thing you need to know about Quincy: She has a crazy natural growing mullet. And I KNOW where she got that from!!! Can't win 'em all!
Quincy Lyn Schaefer is sooooo adorable and fabulous and an addition that we just couldn't live without! We sure love her! What? What's that I hear? I think its the bell. Go home. There's nothing else to see here.