Wednesday, May 21, 2008

PErmanEnt Damage

Gotta take the good with the bad, right. In the spirit of disclosure and laughing at my expense, I'm going to once again lay it on the table. Once upon a time I had a normal bladder. Then I gave birth. Out comes Avery and thanks to drugs, I'm feeling peachy keen. He was born around 6pm and at about 3am I decide to sneak out of my hospital bed to use the bathroom. As I roll off my bed, 'water' starts gush-gush-gushing out of me. I cannot over exaggerate this story. And my legs were still not working, so I stood balancing with my bed and soaking the floor. Michael arouses on his couch and sees me pee-ing on his flip-flops. Side-note: Michael has a germ phobia and is especially particular with feet. He never lets his feet touch the ground. He wears these special flip-flops, even in our own house and at all times. And I was peeing on them. So he wakes and says groggily: "Uh, you're peeing on my shoes." Brilliant Michael. So he reaches to the nurse call button and says, confused, "Uh, my wife has a leak?" I'm trying to make myself feel better, so I assure myself that this is just one of those things about birth that you don't get told. So when the nurse comes running in, I say, "You probably see this all the time." She looks disgusted and says, "Uh, no." So she strips me right there and walks me to the restroom. Humiliating. Seriously humiliating. Then a nurse arrives to check things out the next day and catheterizes me. She freaks out and starts yelling for the doc. She is told that the doc is in surgery, but she insists the doc see this (whatever THIS is). The doc arrives and acts calm, but soon informs me I'll be going to physical therapy. I get home and have zero control over my bladder. I still don't realize that this is far from normal and consequently I don't ask enough questions. For the first couple days, I literally couldn't change direction when walking or ... gush. Then it got a bit better. I just couldn't walk fast or sneeze or be startled, etc. After physical therapy (which by the way was shock-zzzzz- therapy), I could walk fast and even sneeze sometimes pee-free. I learned to deal. Bringing extra 'just in case' underwear or wearing a pad to exercise. Although running and jumping were out of the question. Then I got pregnant with #2. Couple pre-existing incontinence with pregnancy and things get ugly. Sometimes I'd have absolutely no warning and then just be peeing. And forget about bending over without prep. Soon I was wearing pads DAILY and I hate hate hate wearing pads. Life seemed weird like this until it became normal. After Quincy's birth, things were so much more tolerable, but still not good. Now I'm back at the point of not running or jumping for sure and hoping for the best with the sneezes, coughs, startles, and loud laughs. Hmmm.... I guess its on my mind a little extra lately for a few reasons. First, I'm tired of sitting out on life and I've decided to run in the mornings at the gym. So I just wear a pad there. Second, I have hay fever lately and those sneezes are too strong for me to handle. Third, I'm starting to strongly suspect that I was mishandled in the hospital with Avery. I didn't use the bathroom until 3am in the hospital after Avery arrived, so I overextended and damaged my bladder, but I didn't know I had to go because of the drugs. The nurses are supposed to know this stuff and help a sister out! Its standard! So now I have permanent damage via my stint in Hawaii (I don't think it would have happened elsewhere). Hence, you gotta take the good with the bad. Sweet. Such is life. HA!


Brittany Osborn said...

They definately should have taken you to the bathroom much much sooner. Sheesh. You do have crazy stories. I have some problems from labor too that are bad to the same extent but a different situation. I don't think I'll ever heal and it's very frustrating.

Amy S. said...

Um, hello! With all the crazy stuff we talk about, how has this never come up before? And you hate MY life? lol! :-)

Lisa said...

Kids will beat you up every way they can, huh?

Seriously though...too funny.

Kim (Davis) Loudon said...

HEY! My name is Kim! I am a friend of Mike's from BYU-H. I just found your blog through Maile's. I am so glad to see you have a blog! Your kids are adorable...and I FEEEEEEEEEEL your pain about the incontinence that comes with motherhood.\"/ I am preg with #4, and let me tell just gets worse with every kid!\"/ I always "dribble" now days. \"/ Anyways, tell Mikey hello for me! Our blog address is:

Symber said...

Ohhhhhhhhhhh...I gotta say, that sucks! Majorly! Gosh, Sorry!
And what's this? Quincy's allergic to eggs or something? Awww, Hopefully whatever it is it isn't going to be too bad, and she'll grow out of it like Avery did.

Robin said...

The price that our bodieS pAy for the joy of motherhood can be quite hiGh!! AddinG insult to injurY, our adoraBle little Ones are the first tO Boldly point out our 'imperfectionS'. While recently browsing the crowded toy aisle at DG, Tyler, who has a very loud voice for a 3yr old, exclaims as he comes at my backside with a toy chainsaw, "Mom! I'm going to saw your big 'ol butt off!!"

What was he getting at anyway???

Dixons said...

Summer, you crack me up! Hey, I need your address, so email me at with your address so I can send you an invite to my baby shower! Talk to you soon!

Anonymous said...

I just happened upon your blog but I wanted to let you know that there is a surgical procedure that can fix this. It's called a vaginal rejuvenation. for some dumb reason it's considered cosmetic and there are only a handful of places in the US to have it done. It surgically tightens the muscles and is a relatively simple procedure and only requires general anesthesia. Also for women who maybe aren't peeing their pants but sex just isn't the same after kids, this will help with that too. I haven't had it done yet, but we are hoping to do it within the year!!! I can't wait to have my life back. good luck.

Christina Bond said...

This has been and will continue to be one of my favorite stories. Just thinking about it makes me laugh. You deserve an award for having to go through it.

Erika Allred said...

Hey summer! I love this post, mostly because it reminded me of that Enrichment Night when we "Mothers" we all talking about things we didn't expect or know about after you have a baby. I'm so sorry that it didn't get better with your second child, but at least you still look great! Congratulations, by the way, on your second child. I hope everything else is going well for you guys! Take care!

About Me

My photo
Logan, UT
So I used to think... I used to think it was my world. Maybe Michael thought it was his. But we have been re-educated. By a 4 year old and a 2 year old. It's their world. We live in it.

A peek into our window

Birth of Child #1

Birth of Child #1
He looked like a blue alien. Luckily it didn't stick. And thank goodness we didn't go with Michael's idea to name him based on what he looked like.

Birth of Child #2

Birth of Child #2
Much less eventful, thank goodness! She was born with red hair and 2 teeth... and skin colored skin!


  • Quincy says "Where's Avy? I dunno." She talks sooo much and she's so small (5th percentile) that is seems like she shouldn't be talking at all.
  • She roams wildly during church and has become quite the scavenger approaching anyone with food. Its embarrasingly adorable!
  • Quincy's vocab has exploded to include the words, "please, thank you, outside, sucker, candy, Avery, Grandpa, slide, ride, hold you, ni-night, water, bird, doggie, airplane, etc.....! She seems so little!
  • One of the most "wow" things she has done is climb one of those HUGE blow-up slides and slide down REPEATEDLY, ALL BY HERSELF!!!
  • Quincy (with great effort) threw the upper couch cushions on the floor and then proceeded to dive off couch, climb back up, repeat.
  • She says"I want: cookie, go, this, that, drink, wa-wa, play." She also says no, baby, hello, bye-bye, and peek-a-boo. And of course she says "Mom and Da."
  • Quincy talks a lot now. But first thing in the day and then 100 more times: "I want coo-kie." Very telling about her love affair with food.


  • A day after being educated, Avery pulled down his pants and touched his boyhood saying, "Hey Grandma, these are my private parts." HA-larious!
  • (After using the bathroom) "I made a waterfall. Then I made it stop."
  • "Hey Dad. This is my [invisible] friend Caillou. Will you be a monster and scare us?"
  • "Grandpa, what's in your belly?" says Avery. Mom says, "What do you think is in there?" "A baby?" guesses Avery. "Nope. Just lots of cherries," says Grandpa Schaefer. HAH!
  • Quincy was crying in the middle of the night and Avery said, "Take a deep breath, Quincy." It was sweet.
  • Quincy was screaming like a pterodactyl for Avery's food, so he snapped "Chill Out Quincy!"
  • In Avery's first attempt at being a smart-a, he was playing with his friend Jaden Knight and we were asking the boys their full names. Avery responded that his name was Avery James Day. Might have had to be there.
  • Avery still tries to stick his hand down my shirt. When I won't let him, he occasionally asks if he can stick his foot down my shirt instead.
  • I told Avery that Heavenly Father lived in heaven. He thought I said he lived 'with Kevin', so in alarm he asked, "With Kevin and Melissa?!!!"
  • Avery was out cold and we had to go. It was odd how I couldn't wake him, so I threw him over my shoulder and started heading out. All of the sudden with startling gusto, he yelled "I see Jesus." I thought he was a visionary, but turns out he woke up just as I walked past a picture of Christ.