Wednesday, October 29, 2008

BOOBs




People didn't believe me. They suggested tactics and books. I got funny looks and snide remarks. But I swore up and back down that my son was OBSESSED with boobs from the day he was born. I swore that if I weaned him he might jump off the ledge of his crib. So he kept nursing until I could reason with him and he was old enough to cave to major bribes. That translates to 2.75 years old. He does not try to nurse anymore. The begging and pleading and tears have stopped. I don't know if he remembers those years. But what I do know, is that he's still obsessed. He must get that from his Dad. They both think boobs have mystical powers. Multiple times a day, Avery tries to stick his hand down my shirt. He's getting pretty smart to figure out a way I'll let him cop a feel. "Mom, I just want to jump over it to touch your belly." "Mom, I just need to see if it has a boo-boo." "Mom, my hands are cold." He even tries to stick his FEET down my shirt on occasion after I reject his hand groping. Last night (since we've been sharing a bed at my parents' house), I woke up to him frantically feeling all over my back for my missing boobs.

He doesn't want to just feel them. He also wants to talk about them. "Mom, dinosaurs don't have boobs." "Grandma, are those your boobs? Does Sophie (the dog) have boobs? Belts don't have boobs." To a friend's Mom, Avery said, "Are those your boobs? I have little boobs." The list goes on and on and on.

His wife can thank me someday for his constant pestering. I hope he doesn't hit on his kindergarten teacher someday.

In case you're wondering, I do try to thwart his efforts and teach him proper etiquette. I talked to him about "private parts." Guess where that got me? He drops his drawers and grabs his junk and says, "Grandma, these are my private parts." Oh, what's a mom to do? Laugh, behind his back. That's what I do.

16 comments:

Sarah said...

If it makes you fell any better, Kylie is also obsessed with boobies, and being a girl, thats worse than Avery. She even yelled at Old Navy to the manikin "you have boobies like my mommy!!

Amy S. said...

Summer! I knew of his love for boobs, but that is just plain hilarious!

tawnya said...

I just read this out loud to Isaac. We're both dying...

Carl and Lisa said...

All I can say is, you better watch out for Junior High! Good luck, that is hilarious!

Brittany Osborn said...

Oh my goodness golly. LOL. My son was obsessed but not as bad. However at Lane Bryant there was a naked manequin and I walked over and found him cupping both boobs, "Hey mom BOOBS!" Then he layed down of the floor by it and said, "She looks like my mommy."

Megann Wilkerson said...

I am laughing so hard right now!!! Bless his little heart...

Mindy B said...

Your little boy cannot play with my little boys. :)

chelseareeve said...

Oh my goodness...how the heck are you??? I got your blog from Brianne's blog...she stalked me today and found me, so I started stalking the people on her blog. I've been thinking about you a lot lately...I love that those type of things happen. I didn't know you lived in Logan...how long has that happened? I want to come visit...

I haven't read all your blog, but I think it is great that you have two kids now...we really should catch up.

I'm Natalie. said...

YOU! YOU!!! YOU!!!!!!!

How are you?!?

Jake said...

K I was changing in the bathroom at my friends house that I used to babysit for and I turned around and saw her little girl with her face in my bra and a guilty look on her face...HAHAH She was waiting and waiting to get her boobies...HHAHAHA..anyways i feel for you sister:D. Yaeee for BOOOBIES!!!

Jake said...

K I also have to say that you are like the coolest person EVER!! just read the whole blog about the airports and the goods and bads and us and I still havent gotten to talk to you!! soooo much to catch up on. Im dying here. Ill try this afternoon:D...love ya...mandy

Reeve Family said...

Summer. Melinda here. Long time no see. Ok I love that your boy is so vocal. Its awesome and makes me laugh really hard. We are coming to Logan next week and would love to see you. We are there all the time. Check out my blog. Give some info. So I can get in touch with you. wyndamreevefamily.blogspot.com

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About Me

My photo
Logan, UT
So I used to think... I used to think it was my world. Maybe Michael thought it was his. But we have been re-educated. By a 4 year old and a 2 year old. It's their world. We live in it.

A peek into our window

Birth of Child #1

Birth of Child #1
He looked like a blue alien. Luckily it didn't stick. And thank goodness we didn't go with Michael's idea to name him based on what he looked like.

Birth of Child #2

Birth of Child #2
Much less eventful, thank goodness! She was born with red hair and 2 teeth... and skin colored skin!

Quincalicious!

  • Quincy says "Where's Avy? I dunno." She talks sooo much and she's so small (5th percentile) that is seems like she shouldn't be talking at all.
  • She roams wildly during church and has become quite the scavenger approaching anyone with food. Its embarrasingly adorable!
  • Quincy's vocab has exploded to include the words, "please, thank you, outside, sucker, candy, Avery, Grandpa, slide, ride, hold you, ni-night, water, bird, doggie, airplane, etc.....! She seems so little!
  • One of the most "wow" things she has done is climb one of those HUGE blow-up slides and slide down REPEATEDLY, ALL BY HERSELF!!!
  • Quincy (with great effort) threw the upper couch cushions on the floor and then proceeded to dive off couch, climb back up, repeat.
  • She says"I want: cookie, go, this, that, drink, wa-wa, play." She also says no, baby, hello, bye-bye, and peek-a-boo. And of course she says "Mom and Da."
  • Quincy talks a lot now. But first thing in the day and then 100 more times: "I want coo-kie." Very telling about her love affair with food.

AVERYISMS

  • A day after being educated, Avery pulled down his pants and touched his boyhood saying, "Hey Grandma, these are my private parts." HA-larious!
  • (After using the bathroom) "I made a waterfall. Then I made it stop."
  • "Hey Dad. This is my [invisible] friend Caillou. Will you be a monster and scare us?"
  • "Grandpa, what's in your belly?" says Avery. Mom says, "What do you think is in there?" "A baby?" guesses Avery. "Nope. Just lots of cherries," says Grandpa Schaefer. HAH!
  • Quincy was crying in the middle of the night and Avery said, "Take a deep breath, Quincy." It was sweet.
  • Quincy was screaming like a pterodactyl for Avery's food, so he snapped "Chill Out Quincy!"
  • In Avery's first attempt at being a smart-a, he was playing with his friend Jaden Knight and we were asking the boys their full names. Avery responded that his name was Avery James Day. Might have had to be there.
  • Avery still tries to stick his hand down my shirt. When I won't let him, he occasionally asks if he can stick his foot down my shirt instead.
  • I told Avery that Heavenly Father lived in heaven. He thought I said he lived 'with Kevin', so in alarm he asked, "With Kevin and Melissa?!!!"
  • Avery was out cold and we had to go. It was odd how I couldn't wake him, so I threw him over my shoulder and started heading out. All of the sudden with startling gusto, he yelled "I see Jesus." I thought he was a visionary, but turns out he woke up just as I walked past a picture of Christ.